- Indoor Soccer
Congaratulations to the 2016 Indoor Soccer Champions, Realcoholics!
MATCH-UP SCORE SEMIFINALS - 12/6/2016
1 - 3
“We are in the business of kicking butt, and business is very, very good.”
– Charles Barkley*
Yay championships! Who doesn’t love a good championship? Adam Lee scored a beautiful goal, but it didn’t count. Why? Because Realcoholics apparently forgot how to count. 7 people on the court isn’t going to fly. Goal rejected. Connor Spencer (Free Agents) took a pass from Percy Schultze to the back of the net, and took the lead! Jenny Kraska and Tal Zaiet of Realcoholics then scored, winning the Championship. Congratulations! But Tal, how many vowels do you need in your last name? Calm down, please.
*Charles Barkley is the only good thing to ever come out of Auburn
MATCH-UP SCORE SEMIFINALS - 12/6/2016
2 - 1
Who would’ve expected the Free Agents would be here? Are they lucky? Are they like that kid who grows 8 inches in middle schoool? That seems accurate. After upsetting Off Constantly, Free Agents looked to take down A$AP. And frankly, it worked. Who would’ve thunk? Oh, I did! In week 3. I think ESPN is going to hire me soon. Jordan Donnelly of the Free Agents had a beautiful pass right to Taylor Kettle to head it. It. Was. Mesmerizing.
Not to be outdone, Cody Collins (A$AP) had a beautiful pass to Alec Sprague to tie it up. Percy Schultz (Free Agents) wasn’t having it, and dribbled past EVERYONE to score. Free Agents pull another upset and move to the finals!
African River Frogs
2 - 0
I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sick of seeing this guys play each other. The series is tied 1-1, and I think we found our only rivalry in Indoor Soccer. One costly handball from the African River Frogs in the goal box allowed Salvatore Baldi to score a penalty kick. Later, Andrew Korshavn scored. African River Frogs were not so lucky. Maybe they should change their name BECAUSE AN AFRICAN RIVER FROG IS NOT AN ANIMAL!! There’s an African Clawed Frog, an African Dwarf Frog… Watch some National Geographic guys.
RANK TEAM NAME RECORD QUARTERFINALS - 11/30/2016 1 Realcoholics 1-0 Realcoholics came in hot for the playoffs! Too bad there was so much drama on the field; it was like watching a Telenovela. Andrew Korshavn was unstoppable with 4 goals, and Jenny Kraska found her mojo with 3 goals. 7 goals was enough to mercy rule The Thunder, and advance on to play African River Frogs (for the 3rd time this season). Rematch of the century! Well, proabably just the week... 2 A$AP 1-0 It's late in the season, but these guys know how to play when it matters! A$AP was down 1 goal, and in the 39th minute of play, Geneva Perez scored one to send the game to overtime. Nothing happened in the golden-goal 5 minutes, but A$AP came back and won in PKs, thanks to goalie Erik Valdez. No dull moments in playoffs! 3 African River Frogs 1-0 Well they won! And they're back with gusto? Power? Delectation? Ardor? Vehemence? Who's about to take the GRE? Anyway, you guys know Luke Reisig? He's a good player. He put up 1 goal. Then he did finger points to the sky... come on Luke. Who does that in intramurals?? It's on video. No denying it now. 4 Free Agents 1-0 Where did that come from??? Whatever pregame ritual you guys pulled, it worked. Was it voodoo? Was it a rabbit's foot? Did you bribe the refs without telling me? Personally, I think it was Percy Schultze Buschhoff. That guy was on fire, and his goal combined with Taylor Kettle's 2 goals kept the Free Agents alive against the #1 seed, Off Constantly. 5 Balls to the Walls 0-1 it was a close one, and did you see Anthony Sidley send that goal through the goalie's legs? Pretty impressive. Even with the name change, Balls to the Walls couldn't hang on against A$AP. Austin Truoung was a fantastic goalie in PKs, but it wasn't enough. We'll see you in outdoor! I hope, but I have no idea what your name should be... Is it going to be after a cereal? May I recomend Gorillia Munch? That stuff is fantastic. My top names for you guys: ABCDE FC, Eye of the Schweinsteiger, the Big Lewandowski. 6 Off Constantly 0-1
Goodbye #1 seed! But to the #8 seed? hahahahaha. We'll see you in outdoor. I'll be nicer in outdoor. I promise.
Well, apparently anyone can beat Off Constantly.
7 CLUtch 0-1 Katie Krogstad!! Don't score own goals! Don't underestimate this team for outdoors. Especially with Brendan Ward in the goal, and the speed of their forwards. It's been fun! I like your shirts. And your team name. I hope that's original, or I'm going to be v v disappointed. Goals from Patrick Gruoner and Katie Krogstad (a real one this time) weren't quite enough against the African River Frogs. 8 The Thunder 0-1 Oh no! A mercy rule in playoffs! That's okay. It was against the best team in the league. 1 goal from Meshari Aljama, and 1 goal from Rayan Suwaylih weren't enough. RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION - Week 9 (11-15-16) 1 Realcoholics 7-2-0 WHERE WAS THE PUPPY!? Whatever... see if I write your highlights without bringing the puppy. Spoiler alert: not happening. 2 Off Constantly 7-1-1 Why is there so much scoring?? Well, they beat Ballotelli-tubbies 10-6. You know who didn't score? Dylan Hedberg... that's embarassing dude... really embarassing... But everyone else did. 7 people from Off Constantly scored. Were you even trying, Dylan? 3 Balls to the Walls 6-3-0 That's a real classy move letting El Ni?o play with 7 players. Or did you guys just want to show off? Either way, way to go Team-Formerly-Known-as-Quaker-Oats, I guess you guys found a balanced breakfast. Long story short, there were approximately way too many goals scored: Tyler Letson (1), Anthony Sidley (2), Brooke Stanley (1). Gabrielle Stephens (3). I'm not even going to bother putting assists here. 4 CLUtch 6-2-1 You know what happens when half your team doesn't show up? You barely win. Want to win in playoffs? Bring your whole team! These guys are the dark horse in this league. But not like the Katy Perry song - that song sucks. Brendan Ward in the goal box is a force to be reckoned with, and Ryan Raymond with 3 goals keeps this team in the top 4. Oh, Patrick Grouner scored a goal too... enough to beat The Thunder 4-3. 5 A$AP 5-3-0 If you guys didn't let that sloppy, own goal happen, you would've tied the #1 team! Oh well. I'm sure you'll see them again in the playoffs. Also, it's pretty funny to watch own goals happen. Goals from Cody Collins (2) and Joseph Enders (1) kept this team alive thought. They're getting better. 6 African River Frogs 5-3-1 Remember when this team was ranked #1? I do. And they've got their team back. Just in time for playoffs. I don't have any jokes for this team... ummm... What does Batman get in his drinks? Just ice. 7 The Thunder 3-5-0 Hey you guys found some girls!! But you lost! Helpful hint: don't lose. Goals from Meshari Aljama, Anas Alredhaiman, and Saeed Badhiduh kept this team close. It was still a frustrating loss to CLUtch. Want to know how their girls played? Well... remember in Chronicles of Narnia how that witch lady turned people into stone? Ya, the girls just stood near the goal box in the way. A bold strategy, Cotton. 8 Free Agents 2-7-0 You guys made playoffs! I'm so proud of you. Can you guys keep getting better? You're playing Off Constantly, and they're getting cocky. Wel'll make slide tackles legal. Anything for the Free Agents. 9 Balotelli-tubbies 1-7-1 Balotelli-tubbies were down a player the entire game. Did they still score 6 goals against Off Constantly? Yup. Sorry there's no room in the playoffs guys. 10 El Ni?o 0-6-2 It's okay El Ni?o. You know who else got wrecked at soccer recently? The US Men's team. To Costa Rica.... 4-0... ridiculous. So are you as good as the US Men's team? I'm not saying no... But your guys probably aren't. You can come watch the playoffs if you want! RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION - Week 8 (11-8-16) 1 Realcoholics 6-2-0 Raise your hand if you expected Realcoholics to win again this week? Everyone? Ya, I thought so. They'll be a force to reckon with come playoffs, 1 goal from Ryan Angel, 1 goal from Keaton Arutian, 1 goal from Salvatore Baldi, and 1 goal from Andrew Korshavn. 1 assist from Jenny Kraska - but let's be honest, assists aren't gonna make any highlight reels. 2 Off Constantly 6-1-1 Goal from Nelson Pyle!! Can Off Constantly stay this good? Are they gonna get wrecked soon? Can they please start wearing the right color shirts??!! Looking at you, Perry Lee. Actually, he's the goalie. Wear whatever shirt you want, Perry. Just make sure you're wearing one. 3 CLUtch 5-2-1 Prediction time: these guys end up in the championship game against Realcoholics. Have I ever been wrong before? Oh ya. Pretty regularly actually. They lost by 1 goal to Off Constantly, but are a solid team ready for vengeance. 4 Balls to the Walls 5-3-0 These guys are good. Even if they can't figure out what name they want to call themselves, and like to confuse everyone. Quaker Oats. Balls to the Walls, ... You guys gonna change your name for the playoffs too? Keaton Smith got a hat trick, and Anthony Sidley and Tyler Torcasso each scored a goal. Yay [insert team name here]!! 5 African River Frogs 4-3-1 Fun fact of the week: African River Frogs beat Realcoholics 3-0 the first week. Now they lost to Realcoholics 0-4. Oops... Playoffs are a brewin', and you guys might be championship accrue-in'. 6 A$AP 5-2-0 Want to know the easiest way to win a game? Have your opponents not show up. I heard them plotting to take down Realcohlics next week. We shall soon see. 7 Free Agents 2-6-0 Yay!!! 2 wins in a row! Awwwww yyaaaaaaa. You guys are going to playoffs! Goals from Kayla Cobbett (who got sassy with me for not remembering her name), Taylor Kettle, and Percy Schultze Buschoff lead to a win over El Ni?o. 8 The Thunder 3-4-0 Guysssss. You have to have girls show up! 2 forfeits in a row? Shucks. 9 Balotelli-tubbies 1-6-1 Raise your hand if you think Balotelli-tubbies have the best name? Oh everyone is raising their hand? Makes sense. Raise your hand if you think Balotelli-tubbies have the best team? *crickets* The good news is if El Ni?o loses next week, you'll make it to the playoffs! 10 El Ni?o 0-5-2 Sometimes those last place games are exciting. El Ni?o almost held Free Agents off, with a goal from Raymundo Vasquez. You know who else sucked at soccer in college? Will Ferrell, probably. And he's rich. Coincidence? I think not! RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION - Week 7 (11-1-16) 1 Realcoholics 5-2-0 After an upsetting loss this week, Realcoholics still stays in the top seed. They got new players, they keep getting better, but they only had one girl. Moral of the story? Um... not really sure. But a goal from Salvatore Baldi and Brain Hulse left Realcoholics fighting till the end. We can call Realcoholics the Texas A&M of soccer: still at the top, despite a big loss. 2 CLUtch 5-1-1 CLUtch takes the #1 seed in the intramural stats rankings, but just like my Vitmaix blender, these ranking are all about POWER! They're almost as good as Realcoholics, and might beat them down the line. They handedly sent African River Frogs home after a mercy ruling with a hat trick from Ryan Raymond, a goal from Daniel Chavez, and a goal from Roemello Ugale. Watch out for these guys, especially with Brendan Ward back in the goal box. Did you know that guy is 7'2"? 3 Balls to the Walls 4-3-0 Balls to the Walls is coming back! If they didn't lose 3 games, they definitely would have taken the top seed. I still have trust in these guys and gals come playoffs. 2 goals from Anthony Sidley, and 1 goal from Tyler Tocasso gave Balls to the Walls the greatest win of their season. Is the season going to get bette? Or is it all downhill from here? 4 Off Constantly 5-1-1 Well they won due to a forfeit! That's alright guys. Enjoy your bi-week. Also, apparently Dylan Hedberg wants to claim he scored like... 32 goals this game. Don't believe him. Don't ever believe him. 5 A$AP 4-2-0 They played El Ni?o this week, and frankly I think we all knew how that was going to turn out. Poor El Ni?o. A$AP had 1 goal from Cody Collins, and 5 goals from Gubidxa Gutierrez Seymour. Careful, when these guys are on, they're really on. Alec Sprague... where were your goals?? 6 African River Frogs 4-2-1 Fun fact, if you look back to Week #2, these guys were ranked #1. They're good, they just need their mojo back. Austin Powers can probably help with that. Add some practices? Add some wall sits? Laps? Anything guys! Get back up to that #1 spot, and at least score some goals! 7 The Thunder 3-3-0 The Thunder has asked me to recruit girls for them. So here's my ad. "The Thunder needs girls!" Join them! They're a good team. But they had to forfeit to Off Constantly. 8 Balotelli-tubbies 1-5-1 I think the Ballotelli-tubbies are becoming night owls. Fun fact about night owls: they can see like 720 degrees. Someone might need to check on that for me. Whatever. These power rankings aren't fact-checked! A goal from Brian Unlu was not emough to hold off the Free Agents. 9 Free Agents 1-6-0 WIN FOR THE FREE AGENTS! How does the first win of the season feel? And they were down a player? Are the Free Agents finally their stride? Can they keep winning? Can they make it to the play-offs?? I doubt it. 2 goals from Percy Schulze, 2 goals from Cody Spencer, 1 assistant from Connor Spencer, and 1 assist from Jordan Donelly. 10 El Ni?o 0-4-2 Welp... at least your shirts look good. It's all about fun anyway, right? RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION - Week 6 (10-25-16) 1 Realcoholics 5-1-0 i think these guys are unstoppable. We'll see come playoffs. Mercy ruling quite a few teams, bringing adorable puppies to the sidelines... what's not to like? 2 CLUtch 4-1-1 Barely hanging on against the last place team, Free Agents?! i thought there was going to be an upset. Remember every sports movie you've ever seen ever? I was rooting for the underdog. Unlike most sports movies, this is real life. I guess this is reality TV. Anyway, goals from Daniel Chavez, Katie Krogstad, and Roemello Ugale lead to a 3-2 victory over Free Agents. 3 African River Frogs 4-1-1 This was a game! African River Frogs barely came out on top after 2 goals from Blair Martin! The energy was electric, the ball was flying, the fans were crazy! Ever been to a SuperBowl? Probably exactly the same. But these tickets were free. You can still pay me if you want though. I'll let you borrow my chair - front and center. 4 Off Constantly 4-1-1 I heard rumors this team thought they would get beat all the time... hence their name. Way to have the same sense of humor as my 7th grade nephew. Anyway, now they're doing well! Few can beat Off Constantly. Hat trick from Dylan Hedberg, and hat trick from Perry Lee let them barely beat the #9 team. 5 A$AP 3-2-0 This team is stacked! But just like the Dodgers, payrolls aren't everything. A goal from Alec Sprague helped keep A$AP in the game, but it wasn't enough. I'm excited to see these guys in playoffs. Until the Cubs beat them. 6 Balls to the Walls 3-3-0 Like Oprah said, "You get a goal! You get a goal! Everyone gets a goal!" Hat tricks from Anthony Sidley and Gabrielle Stephens. This team almost mercy-ruled The Thunder, then let them score 5 goals in the last 5 minutes... Come on Balls to the Walls.... just be better. 7 The Thunder 3-3-0 This team is good! They just need some depth. Also, they need to not get red cards. All is forgiven, but we want to see you do well!! You can't do well when you're down a player. Goals from Meshari Aljama, Anas Alredhaiman, Saeed Badhiduh, and Rayan Suwaylih almost gave them the W. I heard they're coming back next week with a vengeance. 8 Balotelli-tubbies 1-4-1 It's a tall order to go against the #1 team. You guys came in guns a blazin' though. You have a superstart goalie too! Stay in the top 8, and we'll see you in playoffs!! 9 El Ni?o 0-3-2 Sorry guys. They're all bullies anyway. But you scroed goals! Everyone loves goals! Good find signing Timothy Stuhr on. 10 Free Agents 0-6-0 I've heard the refs take bribes. I certainly do. Someone start a GoFundMe, "Free Agents Ref Bribing Money." Goals from Dominic Lunde and Taylor Kettle almost beat the #2 team, CLUtch. For those teams missing girls, this team does have some strong girls!! RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION - Week 4 (10-11-16) 1 Realcoholics 3-1-0 DAMMMMMNNNNNN Andrew? In the 40th minute of play, Andrew Murguia headed one into the goal. CLUtch only had seconds to repsond, and was unable to do so. 2 CLUtch 2-1-1 CLUtch had a heartbreaking loss against Realcoholics. Not to worry, I'm pretty sure we'll see this match-up again in playoffs. And believe me, you'll want to be there. 3 Off Constantly 3-0-1 Lucky for Off Constantly, they don't have to play Realcoholics till playoffs begin. They have one tie in preseason to CLUtch, but there's a rematch set to take place! Can Off Constantly take CLUtch out? Or is CLUtch going to beat Off Constantly? 4 A$AP 2-1-0 Hey guys, uh... that was rude what you did to the Free Agents. 11-0? That seems unnecessary. I'd let you know who scored, but if they're on A$AP, they probably scored. Let's see what this team can do next week against Off Constantly! 5 The Thunder 3-0-0 Another shakey start by having girls show up at the last minute! This team has talent, but they don't have girls! Also, if any girls would like to play, I'm sure The Thunder would be glad to add you to their roster! 6 African River Frogs 2-1-1 African River Frogs entered an easy week against bottom ranked, El Ni?o. But a tie?? Do tell. What happened? Well... African River Frogs star player had tryouts for Cal Lutheran's varsity team. If he makes the team, no more Intramurals, and you can say goodbye to African River Frogs stellar season. You can ask the Cowboys about losing a star player if you have further questions. 7 Balls to the Walls 2-2-0 The artist formerly known as Quaker Oats has gone through some intense rebranding. They're also in the middle of a hefty lawsuit regarding blatant copyright infringement. Or maybe they lost their sponsor after their second loss of the season - losing to top ranked, Off Constantly. Either way, the Artist formerly known as Quaker Oats is no longer a breakfast of champions. 8 Balotelli-tubbies 1-3-0 Sadly, Balotelli-tubbies do not have luck on their side. In a shoot-out with The Thunder, Baloteli-tubies came up short. Goals from Dagem Getahun, William Parquette, Aditya Rao, and Brian Unlu kept Balotelli-tubies in the game. I guess Laa-Laa, Tinky-Winky, and Dipsy can't handle a little rain. 9 El Ni?o 0-2-1 Wow, no one saw that coming, With 2 goals from Timothy Stuhr, El Ni?o was able to tie top ranked team from Week #3, African River Frogs. El Ni?o might strike late this year. 10 Free Agents 0-4-0 Oh hey guys! Teamwork does make the dream work, so maybe let's try and get some defense up in here? *Now recruiting world class goalies. Hope Solo? Since you can't play with the US Women's anymore?* RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION - Week 3 (10-4-16) 1 CLUtch 2-0-1 You know what happens when the #1 team gets beat? You get #1. Boom. Roasted. Goals from Cameryn Corcoran, Daniel Chavez, Katie Krogstad, and Raquel Zagal lead CLUtch to an easy win, and a #1 seed. The hardest part about being #1? Staying #1. 2 Off Constantly 2-0-1 Surprisingly, no one can beat Off Constantly. Not even the #1 team from last week. Who knows how this team was assembled? Captain Dylan Hedberg almost broke his ankle, they barely tied against CLUtch... but somehow they're in it for the win. 3 African River Frogs 2-1-0 Oh no!! They fell out of the #1 spot! This team is still in it for the win though. Also, African Rvier Frogs doesn't come up on Google. African Dwarf Frogs does though. I propose a new team nickname. 4 Realcoholics 2-1-0 You want to know what their secret is? Adorable puppies on the sidelines. Goals from, well, pretty much everyone, lead Realcoholics to a 7-0 victory over El Ni?o. That's not even nice, Realcoholics! 5 The Thunder 2-0-0 Boom!! Boom!! After almost forfeiting for having no girls, the two girls showed up last minute and helped lead the team to victory! Goals from Abdullah Alhallabi, Saeed Badhiduh, and Rayan Suwaylih helped The Thunder beat Free Agents by 1 goal. 6 Quaker Oats 2-1-0 You know what they say about breakfast? Me neither. But Quaker Oats could easily rise to the top of these rankings. They've only lost one! Goals from 7 A$AP 1-1-0 These guys look good too! I think their problem is A$AP Rocky is mad abot potential copyright enfringement. Goals from Cody Collins and Alec Sprague are keeping this team alive. 8 Balotelli-tubbies 1-2-0 1st place in team name, but 8th place in the rankings... I guess you can't judge a book by its cover. In their defense, their losses were to the #1 and #2 team. No where to go but up, guys! 9 Free Agents 0-3-0 But this team has so much potential!! I think they're going to finish strong. Just talk to each other more! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! 10 El Ni?o 0-2-0 It's alright guys. We still love you. Goals are overrated. RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION - Week 2 (9-27-16) 1
African River Frogs
2-0-0 After a shaky start last week, African River Frogs buckled down and decided 4 hour practices were necessary. They didn't even take the Sabbath off! 3 goals from 3 different players (Joey Arnold, Sebastian Ariza, and Luke Reisig) let African River Frogs blow past REALcoholics, and take the #1 spot. Moral of the story? Don't take the Sabbath off. Unless you want to. Then go ahead. 2 CLUtch 1-0-1 Being down by 2 was not how CLUtch wanted to start their game. But just like TNT, CLUtch knows drama. After Katie Krogstad brought the deficit to 1 with an assist from Ryan Raymond, CLUtch ran out of time! Wait, they didn't though! It was their ball out of bounds with 2 seconds left on the clock. Daniel Chavez, in dramatic fashion, dribbled down the court and.... GOOOOOAAALLLLLLL!! Tie game. 3 REALcoholics 1-1-0 After trouncing the Ballotelli-tubbies, REALcoholics knew their stacked team could take on the best. Lucky for them, they got to take on the best! Despite numerous power shots from half-court, REALcoholics got shut-out by the #1 team, but have the makings to come back as an underdog story in the playoffs. If Universal doesn't get those movie rights, I might. 4 A$AP 1-0-0 Week #1 was not a rocky start - they gave us our first Mercy ruling of the season. "They love good soccer that's their winning problem. And ya they like to win that's their winning problem" - 2 Chainz 5 Off Constantly 1-0-1 Scoring 2 goals from Dylan Hedberg and Lindsay Wyatt against CLUtch set Off Constantly on constantly for a victory (see what I did there? I'm a genius). But, Off Constantly yielded to a tie in the final moments of the game. A moment of silence for Off Constantly. They'll be on again next week like the lights I left on when i left the house for the weekend. My electic bill is going to be really high. I set up a GoFund me, fyi. 6 The Thunder 1-0-0 After taking an early bye week, The Thunder was ravenous. Warming up, it was clear The Thunder also brought the lightning. Enough lightning to scare Marky Mark and the Moms off. Ready to bring the thunder, the lightning, and maybe even some rain, The Thunder is a potentially untested powerhouse. 7 Quaker Oats 1-1-0 After a mercy ruling last week, Quaker Oats came back with a vengeance. A hat trick from Gabrielle Stephens. A hat trick from Anthony Sidley. Careful, we're going to see these players with their own magic show in Vegas soon! 8 Balotelli-tubbies 1-1-0 The Balotelli-tubies were able to put up a fight against the REALcoholics last week, but came up with a forfet this week! Hoping to prove themselves against #2 CLUtch next week. 9 El Ni?o 0-1-0 Coming off of a rough season last year, this team looked to get their first W. 2 goals from from Amanda Romero, and 2 goals from Timothy Stuhr would've beat most teams, but not African River Frogs. El Ni?o looked promising, but there's still that drought in CA. Thanks a lot, guys... 10 Free Agents 0-2-0 This team has talent! 2 goals from Taylor Kettle??! The pot's calling this Kettle MVP. And 1 goal from Connor Spencer?? Watch-out. Once they get to know each other better, sub-ing will be easier. Once sub-ing is easier? Boom. Goals. Roasted. And some late reserves coming off the bench soon!
Marky Mark and the Moms 01-0 Can we have a moment of silence for Marky Mark and the Moms? I guess daycare is too expensive on Tuesday evenings. 12 The Harambes 0-2-0 Good luck playing with only two on your roster...
- Men's Basketball
RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION - FINALS 1 SWISH 2-0 The stage was set for the rematch between SWISH and Shake N Bake, but it was SWISH who came out on top once again, 98-75, led by 23 point outings from both Brett Akahiji and Dean Hendrix. Congrats, SWISH, your shirts will be in shortly. 2 Shake N Bake 1-1 Shake N Bake couldn’t avenge their loss to SWISH earlier this season, and was unable to keep up with their offense this time around. All of the team scored in double figures however, with Nelson Pyle scoring 26. RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION - SEMI FINALS 1 SWISH 1-0 SWISH showed why they were the 1 seed in their victory over (4) TTP. Tyler Shimamoto led the team with a 25 point, 10 rebound performance. Alex Scoggins chimed in 21 points of his own. 2 Shake N Bake 1-0 Shake N Bake cruised into the finals with an all around outing from the squad. Dylan Hedberg led the team with 21 points, Peyton Cochrane followed with 17, and Nelson Pyle added 15. 3 Harambe's Soul 0-1 Harambe’s Soul was finally laid to rest in their loss to (2) Shake N Bake. Jake Spatola was the only brightspot for this offense, dropping in 18 points. 4 The Thunder Pandas 0-1 TTP was unable to reenact their regular season upset of (1) SWISH, and fell 95-69. Jacob Schreiner had a 24 point, 8 rebound night and Brian Unlu had 17 points and 8 rebounds in the loss.
TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION -WEEK 5 1 SWISH 3-1-0 SWISH was able to kick back and rest up before their playoff run as the #1 seed in the Men’s League. They’ll look to avenge their lone loss this season against TTP. 2 Shake N Bake 3-1-0 Shake n Bake had another impressive showing in their win over Scoop The Hoop. Dylan Hedberg dropped 34 points, and Jack Hagen followed with 20 points and 8 assists. They’ll face Harambes Soul in their playoff opener. 3 Harambe's Soul 2-2-0 Not sure what has gotten into Harambe’s Soul over the last two weeks, but Harambe has to be pleased. Matt Figueroa dropped 25 points and 10 rebounds. Perry Lee led the team with 26 points, in their impressive win over TTP. 4 The Thunder Pandas 2-2-0 TTP looked a little sluggish out of their bye week without big man Ryan Heiligenthal. More bad news? They’ll face #1 SWISH in their playoff opener. The good news? They handed SWISH their only loss this season. 5 Scoop The Hoop 0-4-0 Scoop The Hoop couldn’t secure a win this season, as they fell in their finale to Shake N Bake. Alek Mata went out like a champ, scoring 35 of his team’s 53 points, but in the end, it just wasn’t enough. RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION -WEEK 4 1 SWISH 3-1-0 In this week’s game of the week (Check it out on the CLU Student Life Facebook Page and tag your friends), SWISH came out and defeated Shake N Bake 91-84. Tyler Shimamoto dropped an astounding 40 points, while Justin Anderson dropped 16 points. 2 Shake N Bake 2-1-0 Shake N Bake fought hard, but fell short in their loss to SWISH. Nelson Pyle led the squad with 26 points, followed by Jack Hagen who dropped 25, to go with 8 assists. 3 The Thunder Pandas 2-1-0 On their bye week, TTP was able to sit back and watch the Lakers take an opening night W. They’ll face Harambe’s Soul next with huge playoff implications on the line. 4 Harambe's Soul 1-2-0 Somewhere out there, Harambe is watching down with a huge smile on his face. Nick Friend posted a triple double, with 12 points, 12 boards, and 10 assists. Joey Savala, although playing some shaky defense, had 24 points with 10 rebounds. Matt Figueroa dropped in 20 points as well. 5 Scoop The Hoop 0-3-0 Did Scoop The Hoop get their first win? Nope. Did Alek Mata have 36 points and 10 rebounds? Yup. They’ll face Shake N Bake in their season finale next week. RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION -WEEK 3 1 Shake N Bake 2-0-0 Shake N Bake just couldn’t miss last night. They put up 71 in the first half and didn’t look back. All 6 players were in double figures, and 4 had double doubles, with Jimmy Bankson leading the way with 28 points and 13 rebounds. Jordan Donnelly and Dylan Hedberg followed with 27 and 17, respectively. Nelson Pyle had 15 points and 11 rebounds, Jack Hagen dropped 15 points and 10 assists, and Peyton Cochrane added 14 points and 10 rebounds. 2 The Thunder Pandas 2-1-0 TTP couldn’t keep up with the unreal shooting night from Shake N Bake. Brian Unlu did his best to keep his team afloat, dropping 24 points and 8 rebounds (Kobe!). Ryan Heilingenthal contributed 19 points and 15 rebounds. 3 SWISH 2-1-0 It might have been a clear night in Thousand Oaks, but it sure was raining in the Soiland Gym. Brett Akahiji, had 45 points on 15 (yes, 15) 3 pointers. Tyler Shimamoto followed with 13, 3 pointers of his own, finishing with 39 points. They’ll look to dethrone Shake N Bake next week. 4 Scoop The Hoop 0-2-0 Scoop The Hoop was utterly outmatched by SWISH, however, Alek Mata dropped 32 points. They’ll look to get their first win over Harambes Soul next week. 5 Harambe's Soul 0-2-0 If not next week, maybe never? They’ll face Scoop The Hoop next week in a battle of 0-2 teams. Something will have to give.. RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION -WEEK 2 1 Shake N Bake 1-0-0 Shake N Bake was able to kick their feet up this week and take the #1 spot during their bye. They’ll be facing a Thunder Pandas team looking to take back their #1 ranking in what’s sure to be a real barnburner. 2 The Thunder Pandas 2-0-0 Benedict Carandang led the way with 18 points for TTP in their victory over Scoop The Hoop. Ryan Heilingenthal contributed with a 13 point, 15 rebound outing. A technical with just a few minutes left in the game costed them in the rankings. They’ll look to get their top ranking back next week vs Shake N Bake. 3 SWISH 1-1-0 SWISH just couldn’t miss in their win over Harambes Soul. The 3’s kept falling for Tyler Shimamoto and Brett Akahiji, who had 28 points and 17 points, respectively. They hope to keep the hot hand vs Scoop The Hoop next time. 4 Scoop The Hoop 0-1-0 Scoop The Hoop must not have taken their bye week practices seriously, as they fell to TTP 81-55. Alek Mata dropped a 30 piece in the loss, but he’ll need some serious help when they play SWISH next week. 5 Harambe's Soul 0-2-0 Harambes Soul is gonna have to do some soul searching to get out of their 0-2 hole. Matt Figueroa redeemed himself of last week’s performance by scoring a team-high 17 points. RIP Harambe. RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION -WEEK 1 1 The Thunder Pandas 1-0-0 In the game of the night, the Thunder Pandas beat SWISH 74-69. William Parquette led the Pandas in scoring with 27, but it was Brian Unlu that hit the clutch three to put the Pandas up for good with under a minute left. He finished with 19. The Thunder Pandas put the whole league on notice with this one. 2 Shake N Bake 1-0-0 Shake N Bake shook and book Harambes Soul by a score of 97-42. 4 out of their 5 players were in double figures, with Jimmy Bankson leading the way with 31 points, 12 boards, and 6 assists. Jordan Donnelly followed with 21 points and 11 rebounds. 3 SWISH 0-1-0 SWISH was neck and neck with The Thunder Pandas for the whole game, but just couldn’t finish at the end. Dean Hendrix did all that he could to put the team on his back, leading with 35 points. Tyler Shimamoto added 14, and Alex Scoggins put in 11 of his own. 4 Scoop The Hoop 0-0-0 I hope Scoop The Hoop practiced hard during their Week 1 bye. They’ll face The Thunder Pandas in their debut. 5 Harambe's Soul 0-1-0 Joey Savala was the bright spot for the squad in their loss to Shake N Bake. He dropped 22 points to go along with 7 boards. It’s hard to believe Harambe’s soul was reincarnated into this team. In other words, Harambe didn’t die for this. RIP.
- Co-Ed Basketball
RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION - FINALS 1 Hoopla 2-0 In the last game of the year, Hoopla won the Co-Ed Championship, 75-62 over (2) Team Lightskin. Jack Hagen had his best game of his 4-game night, dropping 20, and Nelson Pyle had 17 points and 8 rebounds. Congrats, Hoopla! 2 Team Lightskin 1-1 Team Lightskin was at the losing end of the 11pm Championship game last night. Alek Mata didn’t go down without a fight though, scoring 33 points in the loss. Dean Hendrix added 20 points and 8 rebounds. RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION -SEMI FINALS 1 Hoopla 1-0 Hoopla stomped down hard on the gas and didn’t let up in their 72-40 victory over (4) B. Lingles. Christina Muren led a balanced scoring attack, with a 15 point, 10 rebound night. Nelson Pyle put in 12 points and 10 rebounds, and Jack Hagen added 13 points. 2 Team Lightskin 1-0 Team Lightskin was easily handled (3) Wu-Tang Clan, 67-47. Dean Hendrix had 17 points, followed by a 14 point outing by Cheynne Giles in the victory. They advanced to face (1) Hoopla in the Finals. 3 Wu-Tang Clan 1-1 Wu-Tang Clan was outmatched by (2) Team Lightskin from the start, and unable to advance. Matt Vanenburg and Joshua Legardy dropped 17 points and 10 points, respectively, in the loss. 4 B. Lingles 1-1 B. Lingles couldn’t get the offense going in their loss to (1) Hoopla, and were unable to make it to the Finals. Trianna Owen led the team with 14 points, and Coleman Fleitz followed with 11. RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION -QUARTER FINALS 3 Wu-Tang Clan 1-0 Wu-Tang Clan snuck out a close one against (6) Ballin On A Budget, 61-57. A 22 point performance from Matt Vanenburg and some clutch free throws down the stretch set up a date with (2) Team Lightskin. 4 B. Lingles 1-0 B. Lingles had a first round scare from (5) Cal Lit, but pulled off the victory 80-75. Jordan Donnelly had a season-saving 29 point, 10 rebound performance, and Coleman Fleitz had 18 points to send B. Lingles into the next round. 5 Cal Lit 0-1 Everyone’s Cinderella pick for this tournament, Cal Lit, was unable to make it out of the first round after a dogfight with (4) B. Lingles. Russell Hernandez led the way with 28 points and 10 rebounds, and Joshua Parafina followed with 26 points and 8 rebounds. 6 Ballin On a Budget 0-1 Ballin On A Budget nearly pulled off the upset against (3) Wu-Tang Clan. Ryan Heiligenthal did all he could to put the team on his back, scoring 27 points, but this wasn’t enough to move into the Semi-Finals. RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION -WEEK 5 1 Hoopla 5-0-0 Hoopla must have struck some fear into Cal Lit, who were no-shows this week. Hoopla will look to continue its dominance in the playoffs as the top seed. 2 Team Lightskin 5-0-0 Team Lightskin will head into the playoffs undefeated as the #2 seed, after a forfeit from Ninjas in Paris. 3 Wu-Tang Clan 4-1-0 It was close in the beginning, however, Wu-Tang Clan pulled away at the end in their win over Ballin on a Budget. Ryan Aguilar had an impressive 20 point outing, while Chris Hagler and Matt Vanenburg both had 12 point games. 4 B. Lingles 3-2-0 B.Lingles saw contributions from the whole squad, but it was Jordan Donnelly with 17 points and 15 rebounds, and Brett Lingelbach with 16 points and 17 rebounds who led the way. They’ll look to turn some heads in the playoffs next week. 5 Cal Lit 2-3-0 Cal Lit chose to watch the Indians blow a 3-1 lead, rather than play Hoopla this week. They’ll see B. Lingles in the opening round. 6 Ballin On A Budget 1-4-0 Jacob Schreiner led his squad with 26 points and 10 rebounds in their loss to Wu-Tang Clan. They’ll look to pull some upsets as the last seed in the Co-Ed bracket. 7 Ninjas In Paris 0-5-0 Ninjas in Paris chose to forfeit their last game, in a likely effort to tank for a better pick in the upcoming draft. 8 Tune Squad 0-5-0 Tune Squad was unable to get the elusive win in their season finale against B. Lingles. David Kalili put up 18 points and 8 rebounds to round out his all-star year. RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION -WEEK 4 1 Hoopla 4-0-0 Nelson Pyle continued his MVP campaign, with a 32 point, 7 rebound, 6 assist outing in Hoopla’s win over Wu-Tang Clan. Dylan Hedberg followed with 24 points and 12 rebounds. 2 Team Lightskin 4-0-0 Team Lightskin came out hot in the second half, sinking Ballin On A Budget 61-48. Scoring was evenly distributed for this team, but it was Dean Hendrix who led the way with 18 points. 3 Wu-Tang Clan 3-1-0 Wu-Tang kept it close in the first half, but lost all steam after halftime. Matt Vanenburg was pulling up from anywhere and everywhere in his impressive 25 point, 8 rebound performance. 4 B. Lingles 2-2-0 A B.Lingles-less B. Lingles squad had an impressive 92-65 win over Ninjas in Paris. Jordan Donnelly had 30 points to go with 24 rebounds, and Coleman Fleitz added 20 and 14. Trianna Owen added 18 of her own. 5 Cal Lit 2-2-0 Cal Lit’s Russell Hernandez and Joshua Parafina didn’t match their usual Steph and Klay-esque performances, but both still had impressive 17 points outings in their win over Tune Squad. 6 Ballin On A Budget 1-2-0 Ballin On A Budget found themselves in foul trouble early, and couldn’t recover. Ryan Heiligenthal had 14 points and 13 rebounds, and Jacob Schreiner contributed 10 of his own. 7 Ninjas In Paris 0-4-0 Ninjas in Paris fell to B. Lingles 92-65, however, Andrew McLean had 30 points to go along with 11 rebounds. He’ll need some help next week when they square off against Team Lightskin. 8 Tune Squad 0-4-0 #TheReturn of David Kalili was spoiled as they fell to Cal Lit, 73-60. He had 11 points to go along with 18 rebounds. However, it was Christine Audrey Cruz who led the team with 22 points. RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION -WEEK 3 1 Hoopla 3-0-0 In their 81-51 win over Ballin On A Budget, it was Nelson Pyle who stole the show, putting up 35 points, 11 rebounds, and 6 assists. Christina Muren was just a bit short in getting this season’s first triple double, with 9 points, 10 rebounds, and 9 assists. 2 Wu-Tang Clan 3-0-0 Wu-Tang Clan was led to another win by absolute lay-up machine Joshua Legardy, who had 25 points and 14 rebounds. Matt Vanenburg followed with a 24 point outing. 3 Team Lightskin 3-0-0 Team Lightskin beat B. Lingles 63-59. Dean Hendrix finished with 18 points to go with 12 rebounds. Justin Freeman added 14 of his own. They’ll look to stay undefeated against Ballin On A Budget next week. 4 B. Lingles 1-2-0 B. Lingles dropped a surprisingly close one to Team Lightskin. Newcomer Trianna Owen started out hot and finished with 8 points in her debut. Jimmer Fredette, I mean, Jordan Donnelly put up an astounding 22 point, 20 rebound performance. 5 Cal Lit 1-2-0 In a rare 4 on 4 game, early frontrunners for league MVP Joshua Parafina and Russell Hernandez dropped 39 points and 24 rebounds, and 28 points and 22 rebounds, respectively. Daniel Stauffer had a double double of his own with 14 points and 11 rebounds. 6 Ballin On A Budget 1-2-0 Hoopla was just too much to handle for this Ballin On A Budget Squad. However, Jacob Schreiner led the way with 25 points. Big man Ryan Heilingenthal put in 11 points to go along with 22 rebounds. 7 Ninjas In Paris 0-3-0 Ninjas in Paris kept it close but couldn’t handle the hot shooting night from Cal Lit. Andrew McLean had an impressive 33 points and 11 rebounds, Seth Ingan added 24 points, and Romello Ugale dropped 14 and 11. 8 Tune Squad 0-3-0 Without team MVP David Kalili, Tune Squad had to look elsewhere for scoring. Immanyuel Choi tried to fill the void and chimed in 14 points, as did Christine Audrey Cruz who had 11. RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION -WEEK 2 1 Hoopla 2-0-0
Hoopla looked like the Monstars in their blowout of Tune Squad. Double-double machine Peyton Cochrane dropped 20 points to go with 14 rebounds, and Jamal Balkhi had 10 points with 11 rebounds.
2 Team Lightskin 2-0-0
Team Lightskin continued to show that they’re a contender in their win over Cal Lit. Brooks White had a double-double with 19 points and 11 rebounds. Dean Hendrix led with a 21 point outing.
3 Wu-Tang Clan 2-0-0
After falling behind at the end of the first half, Wu-Tang Clan stole a W away from B. Lingles behind double figure outings from Joshua Legardy, Ryan Aguilar, and Chris Hagler.
4 B. Lingles 1-1-0
In this week’s Game Of The Week (Check it out on the CLU Student Life Facebook Page), B. Lingles let one slip through their hands. Jordan Donnelly did all he could to win by dropping 19 points, but the rest of the team couldn’t pick up the slack.
5 Ballin On A Budget 1-1-0
Ballin On A Budget got their first win of the season by way of a forfeit. They’ll be practicing hard in hopes of upsetting #1 Hoopla next week.
6 Cal Lit 0-2-0
The Splash Brothers from Cal Lit were contained by Team Lightskin’s defense in their loss. Russell Hernandez had 24 points and 8 rebounds. Fellow Splash Bro Joshua Parafina had 29 points, and came up juuuuuust short of a double-double.
7 Ninjas In Paris 0-2-0
Ninjas in Paris is going to have to learn the rules if they want to gain some ground in the rankings. They’ll return next week to face Cal Lit.
8 Tune Squad 0-2-0
Fan favorite David Kalili dropped 17 points and continued his impressive IM debut, however, Tune Squad took an L to #1 Hoopla, 85-39.
RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION -WEEK 1 1 Hoopla 1-0-0
Hoopla looked to be an early frontrunner in their 81-37 win over Ninjas in Paris. 5 of their 6 players scored double figures, as Jamal Balkhi dropped 26 points and 11 boards. Nelson Pyle had 15 and 11 of his own, and Carlie Burow put in 14.
2 Team Lightskin 1-0-0
Team Lightskin ran away from Tune Squad early and never looked back. Nearly the whole team scored, as Dean Hendrix led with 10. They look to be an early team to beat in the Co-Ed league.
3 B. Lingles 1-0-0
B. Lingles bested Ballin’ on a Budget 60-49. B. Lingles himself was ballin, dropping a double-double with 14 points and 10 boards. Jordan Buendia dropped 20 of his own, and Coleman Fleitz put up 14.
4 Wu-Tang 1-0-0
Wu-Tang put on an a show in their win over Cal Lit, with Matt Vanenburg putting up 22 points, and Joshua Legardy posting 19 and 10. Nicole Kuriki put her mark on this game by scoring 11 of her own.
5 Cal Lit 0-1-0
Cal Lit came up just short in their game vs Wu-Tang, losing 82-72 in the Co-Ed game of the night. Russell Hernandez and Joshua Parafina made a splash in their IM debuts, with both of them dropping 33. They’ll look to keep their hands hot as they take on Team Lightskin.
6 Ballin On A Budget 0-1-0
Ballin On A Budget wasn’t ballin in their loss to B. Lingels. Ryan Heiligenthal, however posted 13 points and 15 boards. Jacob Schreiner led the team with 14 points.
7 Tune Squad 0-1-0
Tune Squad needed more of Michael’s Secret Stuff before their game vs Team Lightskin. Fan favorite and free agent pick up David Kalili was the lone bright spot for his team, as he dropped 22 points to go along with 15 rebounds.
8 Ninjas in Paris 0-1-0
Ninjas in Paris looks like they have some work to do, after a decisive loss to Hoopla. Seth Ingan scored 11 points to lead his team, and Andrew McLean followed with 8.
- Flag Football
RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION - Quarterfinal Week 1 Shotguns N’ GB’s 5-1-0
Enjoying the results of dominating the regular season, Shotguns ‘N GBs took full advantage of their first-round bye this week to rest, recover and get a strategy set for the semifinals.
2 Batu Ripz 4-1-0
Also enjoying the luxury of a first-round bye, Batu Ripz gathered themselves as well. Sending out scouts to the quarterfinal games, it looks like they’re already thinking about strategy for the semifinals.
3 Grayson Oroke and Company 3-1-1
In a dominating performance, Grayson Oroke and Company didn’t stop in their win over Tie or Dye. Led by the man himself on offense, Grayson Oroke threw 3 touchdown passes hooking up with three different receivers. David Avila and Morgan Towner also got in on the passing action and each had a passing touchdown themselves. They look forward to playing Batu Ripz in the semifinals next week.
4 Jive Turkey 2-3-0
In a rematch of the year, Jive Turkey once again beat Last Chance U, albeit it with a little more difficulty. Jack Hagen led the team with 4 passing touchdowns to 4 different receivers, resulting in a final score of 24-6. Coming off a two-game win streak, Jive Turkey looks to keep their momentum up next week against Shotguns ‘N GBs.
5 Last Chance U 2-3-0
Putting up a great effort, Last Chance U couldn’t hold on long enough to stop Jive Turkey’s offense. They did all they could and came up with 3 picks on the game, but ultimately couldn’t get anything going on offense. We appreciate your effort all year, and hope to see all the returning players again next year.
6 Tie or Dye 1-3-1
Unable to get the ball rolling, Tie or Dye struggled against Grayson Oroke and Company. The leading highlight of the game was an interception by Anthony Sidley. With this loss, their season is over. Thanks to all the seniors for their dedication over the years, and we hope to see all the underclassmen come out again next year!
RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION - WEEK 6 1 Shotguns N’ GB’s 5-1-0 Matt Pham and Danny Chavez might be the deadliest QB/WR combo in CLU History, right after Adam Friederichsen and Aaron Lacombe. They connected on two strikes for TDs, and accounted for three picks on defense in their win over Last Chance U. 2 Batu Ripz 4-1-0 Batu Ripz scared off their competition and cruised their way to a forfeit victory Sunday. They’ll be making their championship run as the #2 seed. 3 Grayson Oroke and Company 3-1-1 Grayson Oroke and Company got up early Sunday morning to put in some extra work in preparation to defend their title, probably. Let’s see if their veteran experience will pay dividends. 4 Jive Turkey 2-3-0 An all-around performance landed Jive Turkey a 34-13 win over Tie or Dye. Peyton Cochrane had a TD catch and 3 picks, one of which he housed. Jack Hagen threw 2 TDs. Nelson Pyle also had a Pick-6. They’ll face Last Chance U in the first round. 5 Last Chance U 2-3-0 Despite the most talented roster on paper in the league, Last Chance U couldn’t get their offense going against Shotguns n GB’s. Wesley Thompson was their star in this one, throwing for a TD and housing a pick as well. They’ll look to make some noise in the playoffs as the #5 seed as DJ Law and Ronald Ollie return from ineligibility. 6 Tie or Dye 1-3-1 Seanny Baller looked like a new man out there, throwing and receiving a TD in their loss to Jive Turkey. Anthony Sidley had a TD catch of his own to go along with two INTs. 7 Show Us Your TDs 0-5-0 Another week, another forfeit for this club. Their season has come to an end. They’re better at basketball anyways. RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION - WEEK 5 1 Shotguns N’ GB’s 4-1-0
In the battle for first place, Shotguns ‘N GBs managed to come out on top in this hard fought match against Grayson Oroke and Company. In a defensive standoff, there were 10 interceptions total, 4 of them coming from Shotguns ‘N GBs, each from a different player. On the offensive side, Matthew Butler again took control and ran the offense to two different scores.
2 Grayson Oroke and Company
In a close match for first, Grayson Oroke and Company came up just short, losing by two to Shotguns ‘N GBs. With 6 interceptions between David Avila, Austin Buccieri, and Kristian Gallardo, one would think that they had the game in the bag, but they came up short on the offensive side and were unable to punch in those always important extra points. 3
In another close match, Batu Ripz were able to put a stop to Last Chance U’s win streak this game. Again in a defensive battle, Batu Ripz was led by Dean Starros who pressured the opponents QB the entire game, and came down with 5 sacks for himself. Also on the defensive side, Batu Ripz pulled down 5 interceptions from 4 different players. 4
Last Chance U
After finally getting the ball rolling, Last Chance U’s sudden spurt for first was put on hold by Batu Ripz. Despite turning the ball over 5 times through interceptions, they were able to grab 4 picks themselves to keep in the game. The biggest problem for Last Chance U at the moment is a consistent QB, and if they manage to find a regular, with the host of ex-football players on their roster, this team is still a contender for the championship.
Tie or Dye 1-2-1
After being shut out by Shotguns ‘N GBs, Tie or Dye took a needed week off in order to recover and hit the drawing boards. With the experience of beating one of the teams in the lead, this young team has the potential for greatness, they just need to tap into it.
6 Jive Turkey 1-3-0
Looking for their first win, Jive Turkey came into the game this week with high expectations, as well as a short roster as multiple team members were off doing weird stuff like camping or seeing professional football games. Luckily for them, their opponent Show Us Your TDs failed to even show up for their game, giving Jive Turkey their first, and easiest win of the season.
7 Show Us Your TDs 0-4-0
Once again deciding to not show up, Show Us Your TDs is showing us the opposite of touchdowns. I’m not even sure they have a real team anymore at this point…
RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION - WEEK 4 1 Grayson Oroke and Company 3-0-1
Proving once again they deserve to be on top, this team of senior citizens came out in force this week. With 3 different people receiving touchdown passes from three different QBs, not only did they find the endzone many times, they showed they can do it with whoever they want.
2 Shotguns ‘N GBs 3-1-0
Fielding a rookie quarterback, Shotguns ‘N GBs threw caution to the wind starting newcomer Matthew Butler. Fortunately for them, their gamble paid off as he went on to throw 3 touchdown passes, two of which went to Daniel Chavez. On the defensive side, it was all Daniel Chavez again, as he came down with 3 interceptions on the day, helping to shut out Tie or Dye.
With a week off, Batu Ripz was unable to keep their second place standing. But I know for a fact they had multiple scouts out there on Sunday to prepare for when they come back after a two-week break. Unfortunately for them, the team they wanted to see decided they don’t like girls that much and ended up not coming to show off their skills.
Last Chance U
In an extremely hard fought W, Last Chance U managed to come out on top of Show Us Your TDs. Did I say extremely hard fought? I meant to say they got one of the easiest wins on the season after a forfeit by the other team. But hey, a wins a win, and this team always appreciates the boost to the record.
Tie or Dye 1-2-0
I’m not sure what to make of this team. One week they are tying the best team in the league, the next week they beat the second best team in the league. Now they are on a two game losing streak, and have been shutout in both matches. Maybe it’s their quarterback, or should I say lack of consistent quarterback? Or is it because they fall short (literally and physically) on the defensive side of the ball? Who knows and only time will tell.
6 Jive Turkey 0-3-0
In a disappointing game, Jive Turkey couldn’t find an answer to the steamroller offense that is Grayson Oroke and Company. With an early touchdown by Brett Lingelbach from Ana Cordoba, things looked promising, but after he pulled his hamstring on the score, their subs ran out and they couldn’t find their groove again for the rest of the game.
7 Show Us Your TDs
This week, Show Us Your TDs decided to not only show us no touchdowns again, but also not even to show their faces. Unable to find enough girls, they couldn’t play and took a forfeit. Calling all girls out there, this is a team that needs your help. Anyone would be appreciated.
RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION - WEEK 3 1 Grayson Oroke and Company 2-0-1
In a convincing 18-0 victory, Grayson Oroke and Company showed that they are still a force to be reckoned with, despite having the oldest roster in the league. With an all-around offensive performance, and a stifling defensive game, they soared past Show Us Your TDs and look to keep their streak going next week against Jive Turkey.
2 Batu Ripz 2-1-0
Dethroning the top ranked Shotguns N’ GBs, Batu Ripz showed that they already are over the loss to Tie and Dye last week. With yet another defensive show, they pulled down 4 interceptions, 2 of which were for touchdowns. On the offensive side of the ball, Justin Freeman had a receiving touchdown from one of the females, who I will not specify, because she told me I had better give her a shout out on the power rankings when we were on the field (take that Miranda!).
3 Shotguns ‘N GBs
Struggling to find enough players to have a full roster (I guess that’s what happens when half your team is on the basketball team and season starts), Shotguns ‘N GBs couldn’t find the endzone this weekend. Danny Chavez helped the team as much as he could on defense, bringing down a pick and sack, but missing most of your athletes is a hard thing to overcome.
4 Tie or Dye 1-1-1
After beating one of the top ranked teams last week, Tie or Dye fell in a surprising loss to Last Chance U. Apparently, changing their name from Golden Children didn’t work out so well for them as they struggled a lot on offense this week. The highlight of their game was that 4 different people managed to get a defensive stat, with 2 interceptions and 2 sacks.
Last Chance U 1-1-0
Finally figuring out the rules, Last Chance U put on a clinic for us. They had everything down this week, from getting the ball to girls to keep the plays open, to actually getting some blocking in to give their QB time to throw. Also, in the play of the year, David Claiborne had one of the best punt returns I’ve ever seen. Causing almost the entire punt team to miss, David dodged, ducked, dipped, dove and dodged his way for almost 60 yards on the return, resulting in a touchdown.
6 Jive Turkey 0-2-0
On their second week off, Jive Turkey took the chance to rest, recover, vacation, and strategize. Looking to get their first win in the regular season, they have their work cut out for them as they go on to play Grayson Oroke and Company.
7 Show Us Your TDs
Once again failing to show us any touchdowns, Show Us Your TDs was shutout this week against Grayson Oroke and Company. On the bright side, they managed to snag 3 interceptions, but in the long run couldn’t do much to stop their opponent’s offense.
RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION - WEEK 2 1 Shotguns N’ GB’s
After an impressive victory last week, Shotguns N’ GBs kept the ball rolling. With an even offensive and defensive attack, they were led by Blake Miles with 2 receiving touchdowns and Adrian Francis with a pick 6, they held off Jive Turkey and are looking ahead to Batu Ripz next game.
2 Grayson Oroke and Company 1-0-1
Coming with a fuller team this week, Grayson Oroke and Company put together an impressive showing against Last Chance U. QB Grayson Oroke found multiple targets in the end zone to put up the season high score of 34 points. Also, I am pretty sure they picked their name just to get in my head whenever I have to type out Grayson Oroke and Company.
3 Batu Ripz 1-1-0 In a tough defensive game, Robert Sipes managed to find two different receivers in the end zone for touchdowns. Unfortunately, their defensive game wasn’t quite enough to hold off Golden Children, resulting in a heartbreaking 1-point loss. 4 Golden Children 1-0-1
Led by Peter Lee with two passing touchdowns and defensively by Alex Cortez with 2 interceptions, Golden Children looked good this week against Batu Ripz. The extra point score by Kelsey Rouse proved to be the deciding factor in this tough fought game.
Jive Turkey 0-2-0
Finding more of a rhythm this week with Brett Lingelbach scoring off passes from two different QBs, Jive Turkey couldn’t pull it together enough to stop Shotguns N’ GB’s offensive attack. With the next two weeks off, Jive turkey is looking to put together a better plan of attack when they play again.
6 Show Us Your TDs 0-1-0 With the bye week this week, Show Us Your TDs look to figure out how to get some rhythm going on offense. They can find comfort in the fact they have probably the best name for football this year. 7 Last Chance U 0-1-0 Struggling to find any momentum, Last Chance U couldn’t put together any scoring drives this week against Grayson Oroke and Company, resulting in a devastating loss of 34-0 RANK TEAM NAME RECORD DESCRIPTION - WEEK 1 1 Shotguns N’ GB’s
After a bye for scrimmage week, Shotguns N’ GB’s hit the turf running. Lead offensively by quarterback Matt Pham who threw for 4 touchdowns and Daniel Chavez who was on the receiving end of three of those, this team showed that they plan to be an offensive powerhouse this year.
2 Batu Ripz 1-0-0
In the grudge match of the year, Batu Ripz came out ready to play. Holding Jive Turkey to just one touchdown, Batu Ripz showed they will be a defensive force to be reckoned with. Proving this point was Billy Davidson who picked off an Extra Point for 3 points, which proved to be the deciding factor of the game.
3 Golden Children 0-0-1
Golden Children also struggled to find enough players to have any subs, but put up a strong defensive game to force a tie. They will have their work cut out for them if they have limited players next week against Batu Ripz.
4 Grayson Oroke and Company 0-0-1
With one of the fullest rosters in the league, Grayson Oroke and Company had barely found enough people to play this week. Feeling the effects of limited subs, they managed to pull off a tie against Golden Children and hope to be back at full strength next week against Last Chance U.
5 Last Chance U 0-0-0
With a bye this week, Last Chance U took the opportunity to hit the practice field and figure out all the complexities of the Co-Ed rules to come out strong against Grayson Oroke and Company.
6 Jive Turkey
Struggling to find any rhythm on offensive, Jive Turkey lost in a close one on a controversial call late in in the game. They hope to make a comeback next week against Shotguns N’ GB’s.
7 Show Us Your TD’s
Show Us Your TD’s couldn’t manage to show us any touchdowns this week, while they were indeed shown 4 touchdowns by Shotguns N’ GB’s. The only highlight of the day came when Michael Bocksnick picked off an Extra Point attempt and ran it all the way back for their only score on the day.