Power Rankings

Realcoholics Championship

Congaratulations to the 2016 Indoor Soccer Champions, Realcoholics!

	MATCH-UP	SCORE	SEMIFINALS - 12/6/2016
1	Free Agents v Realcoholics*	1 - 3	“We are in the business of kicking butt, and business is very, very good.” – Charles Barkley* Yay championships! Who doesn’t love a good championship? Adam Lee scored a beautiful goal, but it didn’t count. Why? Because Realcoholics apparently forgot how to count. 7 people on the court isn’t going to fly. Goal rejected. Connor Spencer (Free Agents) took a pass from Percy Schultze to the back of the net, and took the lead! Jenny Kraska and Tal Zaiet of Realcoholics then scored, winning the Championship. Congratulations! But Tal, how many vowels do you need in your last name? Calm down, please. *Charles Barkley is the only good thing to ever come out of Auburn

MATCH-UP

SCORE

SEMIFINALS - 12/6/2016

Free Agents

Realcoholics*

1 - 3

“We are in the business of kicking butt, and business is very, very good.”

– Charles Barkley*

Yay championships! Who doesn’t love a good championship? Adam Lee scored a beautiful goal, but it didn’t count. Why? Because Realcoholics apparently forgot how to count. 7 people on the court isn’t going to fly. Goal rejected. Connor Spencer (Free Agents) took a pass from Percy Schultze to the back of the net, and took the lead! Jenny Kraska and Tal Zaiet of Realcoholics then scored, winning the Championship. Congratulations! But Tal, how many vowels do you need in your last name? Calm down, please.

*Charles Barkley is the only good thing to ever come out of Auburn

	MATCH-UP	SCORE	SEMIFINALS - 12/6/2016
1	Free Agents* v A$AP	2 - 1	Who would’ve expected the Free Agents would be here? Are they lucky? Are they like that kid who grows 8 inches in middle schoool? That seems accurate. After upsetting Off Constantly, Free Agents looked to take down A$AP. And frankly, it worked. Who would’ve thunk? Oh, I did! In week 3. I think ESPN is going to hire me soon. Jordan Donnelly of the Free Agents had a beautiful pass right to Taylor Kettle to head it. It. Was. Mesmerizing. Not to be outdone, Cody Collins (A$AP) had a beautiful pass to Alec Sprague to tie it up. Percy Schultz (Free Agents) wasn’t having it, and dribbled past EVERYONE to score. Free Agents pull another upset and move to the finals!
2	Realcoholics* v African River Frogs	2 - 0	I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sick of seeing this guys play each other. The series is tied 1-1, and I think we found our only rivalry in Indoor Soccer. One costly handball from the African River Frogs in the goal box allowed Salvatore Baldi to score a penalty kick. Later, Andrew Korshavn scored. African River Frogs were not so lucky. Maybe they should change their name BECAUSE AN AFRICAN RIVER FROG IS NOT AN ANIMAL!! There’s an African Clawed Frog, an African Dwarf Frog… Watch some National Geographic guys.

MATCH-UP

SCORE

SEMIFINALS - 12/6/2016

Free Agents*

A$AP

2 - 1

Who would’ve expected the Free Agents would be here? Are they lucky? Are they like that kid who grows 8 inches in middle schoool? That seems accurate. After upsetting Off Constantly, Free Agents looked to take down A$AP. And frankly, it worked. Who would’ve thunk? Oh, I did! In week 3. I think ESPN is going to hire me soon. Jordan Donnelly of the Free Agents had a beautiful pass right to Taylor Kettle to head it. It. Was. Mesmerizing.

Not to be outdone, Cody Collins (A$AP) had a beautiful pass to Alec Sprague to tie it up. Percy Schultz (Free Agents) wasn’t having it, and dribbled past EVERYONE to score. Free Agents pull another upset and move to the finals!

Realcoholics*

African River Frogs

2 - 0

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sick of seeing this guys play each other. The series is tied 1-1, and I think we found our only rivalry in Indoor Soccer. One costly handball from the African River Frogs in the goal box allowed Salvatore Baldi to score a penalty kick. Later, Andrew Korshavn scored. African River Frogs were not so lucky. Maybe they should change their name BECAUSE AN AFRICAN RIVER FROG IS NOT AN ANIMAL!! There’s an African Clawed Frog, an African Dwarf Frog… Watch some National Geographic guys.

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	QUARTERFINALS - 11/30/2016
1	Realcoholics	1-0	Realcoholics came in hot for the playoffs! Too bad there was so much drama on the field; it was like watching a Telenovela. Andrew Korshavn was unstoppable with 4 goals, and Jenny Kraska found her mojo with 3 goals. 7 goals was enough to mercy rule The Thunder, and advance on to play African River Frogs (for the 3rd time this season). Rematch of the century! Well, proabably just the week...
2	A$AP	1-0	It's late in the season, but these guys know how to play when it matters! A$AP was down 1 goal, and in the 39th minute of play, Geneva Perez scored one to send the game to overtime. Nothing happened in the golden-goal 5 minutes, but A$AP came back and won in PKs, thanks to goalie Erik Valdez. No dull moments in playoffs!
3	African River Frogs	1-0	Well they won! And they're back with gusto? Power? Delectation? Ardor? Vehemence? Who's about to take the GRE? Anyway, you guys know Luke Reisig? He's a good player. He put up 1 goal. Then he did finger points to the sky... come on Luke. Who does that in intramurals?? It's on video. No denying it now.
4	Free Agents	1-0	Where did that come from??? Whatever pregame ritual you guys pulled, it worked. Was it voodoo? Was it a rabbit's foot? Did you bribe the refs without telling me? Personally, I think it was Percy Schultze Buschhoff. That guy was on fire, and his goal combined with Taylor Kettle's 2 goals kept the Free Agents alive against the #1 seed, Off Constantly.
5	Balls to the Walls	0-1	it was a close one, and did you see Anthony Sidley send that goal through the goalie's legs? Pretty impressive. Even with the name change, Balls to the Walls couldn't hang on against A$AP. Austin Truoung was a fantastic goalie in PKs, but it wasn't enough. We'll see you in outdoor! I hope, but I have no idea what your name should be... Is it going to be after a cereal? May I recomend Gorillia Munch? That stuff is fantastic. My top names for you guys: ABCDE FC, Eye of the Schweinsteiger, the Big Lewandowski.
6	Off Constantly	0-1	Goodbye #1 seed! But to the #8 seed? hahahahaha. We'll see you in outdoor. I'll be nicer in outdoor. I promise. Well, apparently anyone can beat Off Constantly.
7	CLUtch	0-1	Katie Krogstad!! Don't score own goals! Don't underestimate this team for outdoors. Especially with Brendan Ward in the goal, and the speed of their forwards. It's been fun! I like your shirts. And your team name. I hope that's original, or I'm going to be v v disappointed. Goals from Patrick Gruoner and Katie Krogstad (a real one this time) weren't quite enough against the African River Frogs.
8	The Thunder	0-1	Oh no! A mercy rule in playoffs! That's okay. It was against the best team in the league. 1 goal from Meshari Aljama, and 1 goal from Rayan Suwaylih weren't enough.

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION - Week 9 (11-15-16)
1	Realcoholics	7-2-0	WHERE WAS THE PUPPY!? Whatever... see if I write your highlights without bringing the puppy. Spoiler alert: not happening.
2	Off Constantly	7-1-1	Why is there so much scoring?? Well, they beat Ballotelli-tubbies 10-6. You know who didn't score? Dylan Hedberg... that's embarassing dude... really embarassing... But everyone else did. 7 people from Off Constantly scored. Were you even trying, Dylan?
3	Balls to the Walls	6-3-0	That's a real classy move letting El Ni?o play with 7 players. Or did you guys just want to show off? Either way, way to go Team-Formerly-Known-as-Quaker-Oats, I guess you guys found a balanced breakfast. Long story short, there were approximately way too many goals scored: Tyler Letson (1), Anthony Sidley (2), Brooke Stanley (1). Gabrielle Stephens (3). I'm not even going to bother putting assists here.
4	CLUtch	6-2-1	You know what happens when half your team doesn't show up? You barely win. Want to win in playoffs? Bring your whole team! These guys are the dark horse in this league. But not like the Katy Perry song - that song sucks. Brendan Ward in the goal box is a force to be reckoned with, and Ryan Raymond with 3 goals keeps this team in the top 4. Oh, Patrick Grouner scored a goal too... enough to beat The Thunder 4-3.
5	A$AP	5-3-0	If you guys didn't let that sloppy, own goal happen, you would've tied the #1 team! Oh well. I'm sure you'll see them again in the playoffs. Also, it's pretty funny to watch own goals happen. Goals from Cody Collins (2) and Joseph Enders (1) kept this team alive thought. They're getting better.
6	African River Frogs	5-3-1	Remember when this team was ranked #1? I do. And they've got their team back. Just in time for playoffs. I don't have any jokes for this team... ummm... What does Batman get in his drinks? Just ice.
7	The Thunder	3-5-0	Hey you guys found some girls!! But you lost! Helpful hint: don't lose. Goals from Meshari Aljama, Anas Alredhaiman, and Saeed Badhiduh kept this team close. It was still a frustrating loss to CLUtch. Want to know how their girls played? Well... remember in Chronicles of Narnia how that witch lady turned people into stone? Ya, the girls just stood near the goal box in the way. A bold strategy, Cotton.
8	Free Agents	2-7-0	You guys made playoffs! I'm so proud of you. Can you guys keep getting better? You're playing Off Constantly, and they're getting cocky. Wel'll make slide tackles legal. Anything for the Free Agents.
9	Balotelli-tubbies	1-7-1	Balotelli-tubbies were down a player the entire game. Did they still score 6 goals against Off Constantly? Yup. Sorry there's no room in the playoffs guys.
10	El Ni?o	0-6-2	It's okay El Ni?o. You know who else got wrecked at soccer recently? The US Men's team. To Costa Rica.... 4-0... ridiculous. So are you as good as the US Men's team? I'm not saying no... But your guys probably aren't. You can come watch the playoffs if you want!

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION - Week 8 (11-8-16)
1	Realcoholics	6-2-0	Raise your hand if you expected Realcoholics to win again this week? Everyone? Ya, I thought so. They'll be a force to reckon with come playoffs, 1 goal from Ryan Angel, 1 goal from Keaton Arutian, 1 goal from Salvatore Baldi, and 1 goal from Andrew Korshavn. 1 assist from Jenny Kraska - but let's be honest, assists aren't gonna make any highlight reels.
2	Off Constantly	6-1-1	Goal from Nelson Pyle!! Can Off Constantly stay this good? Are they gonna get wrecked soon? Can they please start wearing the right color shirts??!! Looking at you, Perry Lee. Actually, he's the goalie. Wear whatever shirt you want, Perry. Just make sure you're wearing one.
3	CLUtch	5-2-1	Prediction time: these guys end up in the championship game against Realcoholics. Have I ever been wrong before? Oh ya. Pretty regularly actually. They lost by 1 goal to Off Constantly, but are a solid team ready for vengeance.
4	Balls to the Walls	5-3-0	These guys are good. Even if they can't figure out what name they want to call themselves, and like to confuse everyone. Quaker Oats. Balls to the Walls, ... You guys gonna change your name for the playoffs too? Keaton Smith got a hat trick, and Anthony Sidley and Tyler Torcasso each scored a goal. Yay [insert team name here]!!
5	African River Frogs	4-3-1	Fun fact of the week: African River Frogs beat Realcoholics 3-0 the first week. Now they lost to Realcoholics 0-4. Oops... Playoffs are a brewin', and you guys might be championship accrue-in'.
6	A$AP	5-2-0	Want to know the easiest way to win a game? Have your opponents not show up. I heard them plotting to take down Realcohlics next week. We shall soon see.
7	Free Agents	2-6-0	Yay!!! 2 wins in a row! Awwwww yyaaaaaaa. You guys are going to playoffs! Goals from Kayla Cobbett (who got sassy with me for not remembering her name), Taylor Kettle, and Percy Schultze Buschoff lead to a win over El Ni?o.
8	The Thunder	3-4-0	Guysssss. You have to have girls show up! 2 forfeits in a row? Shucks.
9	Balotelli-tubbies	1-6-1	Raise your hand if you think Balotelli-tubbies have the best name? Oh everyone is raising their hand? Makes sense. Raise your hand if you think Balotelli-tubbies have the best team? crickets The good news is if El Ni?o loses next week, you'll make it to the playoffs!
10	El Ni?o	0-5-2	Sometimes those last place games are exciting. El Ni?o almost held Free Agents off, with a goal from Raymundo Vasquez. You know who else sucked at soccer in college? Will Ferrell, probably. And he's rich. Coincidence? I think not!

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION - Week 7 (11-1-16)
1	Realcoholics	5-2-0	After an upsetting loss this week, Realcoholics still stays in the top seed. They got new players, they keep getting better, but they only had one girl. Moral of the story? Um... not really sure. But a goal from Salvatore Baldi and Brain Hulse left Realcoholics fighting till the end. We can call Realcoholics the Texas A&M of soccer: still at the top, despite a big loss.
2	CLUtch	5-1-1	CLUtch takes the #1 seed in the intramural stats rankings, but just like my Vitmaix blender, these ranking are all about POWER! They're almost as good as Realcoholics, and might beat them down the line. They handedly sent African River Frogs home after a mercy ruling with a hat trick from Ryan Raymond, a goal from Daniel Chavez, and a goal from Roemello Ugale. Watch out for these guys, especially with Brendan Ward back in the goal box. Did you know that guy is 7'2"?
3	Balls to the Walls	4-3-0	Balls to the Walls is coming back! If they didn't lose 3 games, they definitely would have taken the top seed. I still have trust in these guys and gals come playoffs. 2 goals from Anthony Sidley, and 1 goal from Tyler Tocasso gave Balls to the Walls the greatest win of their season. Is the season going to get bette? Or is it all downhill from here?
4	Off Constantly	5-1-1	Well they won due to a forfeit! That's alright guys. Enjoy your bi-week. Also, apparently Dylan Hedberg wants to claim he scored like... 32 goals this game. Don't believe him. Don't ever believe him.
5	A$AP	4-2-0	They played El Ni?o this week, and frankly I think we all knew how that was going to turn out. Poor El Ni?o. A$AP had 1 goal from Cody Collins, and 5 goals from Gubidxa Gutierrez Seymour. Careful, when these guys are on, they're really on. Alec Sprague... where were your goals??
6	African River Frogs	4-2-1	Fun fact, if you look back to Week #2, these guys were ranked #1. They're good, they just need their mojo back. Austin Powers can probably help with that. Add some practices? Add some wall sits? Laps? Anything guys! Get back up to that #1 spot, and at least score some goals!
7	The Thunder	3-3-0	The Thunder has asked me to recruit girls for them. So here's my ad. "The Thunder needs girls!" Join them! They're a good team. But they had to forfeit to Off Constantly.
8	Balotelli-tubbies	1-5-1	I think the Ballotelli-tubbies are becoming night owls. Fun fact about night owls: they can see like 720 degrees. Someone might need to check on that for me. Whatever. These power rankings aren't fact-checked! A goal from Brian Unlu was not emough to hold off the Free Agents.
9	Free Agents	1-6-0	WIN FOR THE FREE AGENTS! How does the first win of the season feel? And they were down a player? Are the Free Agents finally their stride? Can they keep winning? Can they make it to the play-offs?? I doubt it. 2 goals from Percy Schulze, 2 goals from Cody Spencer, 1 assistant from Connor Spencer, and 1 assist from Jordan Donelly.
10	El Ni?o	0-4-2	Welp... at least your shirts look good. It's all about fun anyway, right?

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION - Week 6 (10-25-16)
1	Realcoholics	5-1-0	i think these guys are unstoppable. We'll see come playoffs. Mercy ruling quite a few teams, bringing adorable puppies to the sidelines... what's not to like?
2	CLUtch	4-1-1	Barely hanging on against the last place team, Free Agents?! i thought there was going to be an upset. Remember every sports movie you've ever seen ever? I was rooting for the underdog. Unlike most sports movies, this is real life. I guess this is reality TV. Anyway, goals from Daniel Chavez, Katie Krogstad, and Roemello Ugale lead to a 3-2 victory over Free Agents.
3	African River Frogs	4-1-1	This was a game! African River Frogs barely came out on top after 2 goals from Blair Martin! The energy was electric, the ball was flying, the fans were crazy! Ever been to a SuperBowl? Probably exactly the same. But these tickets were free. You can still pay me if you want though. I'll let you borrow my chair - front and center.
4	Off Constantly	4-1-1	I heard rumors this team thought they would get beat all the time... hence their name. Way to have the same sense of humor as my 7th grade nephew. Anyway, now they're doing well! Few can beat Off Constantly. Hat trick from Dylan Hedberg, and hat trick from Perry Lee let them barely beat the #9 team.
5	A$AP	3-2-0	This team is stacked! But just like the Dodgers, payrolls aren't everything. A goal from Alec Sprague helped keep A$AP in the game, but it wasn't enough. I'm excited to see these guys in playoffs. Until the Cubs beat them.
6	Balls to the Walls	3-3-0	Like Oprah said, "You get a goal! You get a goal! Everyone gets a goal!" Hat tricks from Anthony Sidley and Gabrielle Stephens. This team almost mercy-ruled The Thunder, then let them score 5 goals in the last 5 minutes... Come on Balls to the Walls.... just be better.
7	The Thunder	3-3-0	This team is good! They just need some depth. Also, they need to not get red cards. All is forgiven, but we want to see you do well!! You can't do well when you're down a player. Goals from Meshari Aljama, Anas Alredhaiman, Saeed Badhiduh, and Rayan Suwaylih almost gave them the W. I heard they're coming back next week with a vengeance.
8	Balotelli-tubbies	1-4-1	It's a tall order to go against the #1 team. You guys came in guns a blazin' though. You have a superstart goalie too! Stay in the top 8, and we'll see you in playoffs!!
9	El Ni?o	0-3-2	Sorry guys. They're all bullies anyway. But you scroed goals! Everyone loves goals! Good find signing Timothy Stuhr on.
10	Free Agents	0-6-0	I've heard the refs take bribes. I certainly do. Someone start a GoFundMe, "Free Agents Ref Bribing Money." Goals from Dominic Lunde and Taylor Kettle almost beat the #2 team, CLUtch. For those teams missing girls, this team does have some strong girls!!

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION - Week 4 (10-11-16)
1	Realcoholics	3-1-0	DAMMMMMNNNNNN Andrew? In the 40th minute of play, Andrew Murguia headed one into the goal. CLUtch only had seconds to repsond, and was unable to do so.
2	CLUtch	2-1-1	CLUtch had a heartbreaking loss against Realcoholics. Not to worry, I'm pretty sure we'll see this match-up again in playoffs. And believe me, you'll want to be there.
3	Off Constantly	3-0-1	Lucky for Off Constantly, they don't have to play Realcoholics till playoffs begin. They have one tie in preseason to CLUtch, but there's a rematch set to take place! Can Off Constantly take CLUtch out? Or is CLUtch going to beat Off Constantly?
4	A$AP	2-1-0	Hey guys, uh... that was rude what you did to the Free Agents. 11-0? That seems unnecessary. I'd let you know who scored, but if they're on A$AP, they probably scored. Let's see what this team can do next week against Off Constantly!
5	The Thunder	3-0-0	Another shakey start by having girls show up at the last minute! This team has talent, but they don't have girls! Also, if any girls would like to play, I'm sure The Thunder would be glad to add you to their roster!
6	African River Frogs	2-1-1	African River Frogs entered an easy week against bottom ranked, El Ni?o. But a tie?? Do tell. What happened? Well... African River Frogs star player had tryouts for Cal Lutheran's varsity team. If he makes the team, no more Intramurals, and you can say goodbye to African River Frogs stellar season. You can ask the Cowboys about losing a star player if you have further questions.
7	Balls to the Walls	2-2-0	The artist formerly known as Quaker Oats has gone through some intense rebranding. They're also in the middle of a hefty lawsuit regarding blatant copyright infringement. Or maybe they lost their sponsor after their second loss of the season - losing to top ranked, Off Constantly. Either way, the Artist formerly known as Quaker Oats is no longer a breakfast of champions.
8	Balotelli-tubbies	1-3-0	Sadly, Balotelli-tubbies do not have luck on their side. In a shoot-out with The Thunder, Baloteli-tubies came up short. Goals from Dagem Getahun, William Parquette, Aditya Rao, and Brian Unlu kept Balotelli-tubies in the game. I guess Laa-Laa, Tinky-Winky, and Dipsy can't handle a little rain.
9	El Ni?o	0-2-1	Wow, no one saw that coming, With 2 goals from Timothy Stuhr, El Ni?o was able to tie top ranked team from Week #3, African River Frogs. El Ni?o might strike late this year.
10	Free Agents	0-4-0	Oh hey guys! Teamwork does make the dream work, so maybe let's try and get some defense up in here? Now recruiting world class goalies. Hope Solo? Since you can't play with the US Women's anymore?

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION - Week 3 (10-4-16)
1	CLUtch	2-0-1	You know what happens when the #1 team gets beat? You get #1. Boom. Roasted. Goals from Cameryn Corcoran, Daniel Chavez, Katie Krogstad, and Raquel Zagal lead CLUtch to an easy win, and a #1 seed. The hardest part about being #1? Staying #1.
2	Off Constantly	2-0-1	Surprisingly, no one can beat Off Constantly. Not even the #1 team from last week. Who knows how this team was assembled? Captain Dylan Hedberg almost broke his ankle, they barely tied against CLUtch... but somehow they're in it for the win.
3	African River Frogs	2-1-0	Oh no!! They fell out of the #1 spot! This team is still in it for the win though. Also, African Rvier Frogs doesn't come up on Google. African Dwarf Frogs does though. I propose a new team nickname.
4	Realcoholics	2-1-0	You want to know what their secret is? Adorable puppies on the sidelines. Goals from, well, pretty much everyone, lead Realcoholics to a 7-0 victory over El Ni?o. That's not even nice, Realcoholics!
5	The Thunder	2-0-0	Boom!! Boom!! After almost forfeiting for having no girls, the two girls showed up last minute and helped lead the team to victory! Goals from Abdullah Alhallabi, Saeed Badhiduh, and Rayan Suwaylih helped The Thunder beat Free Agents by 1 goal.
6	Quaker Oats	2-1-0	You know what they say about breakfast? Me neither. But Quaker Oats could easily rise to the top of these rankings. They've only lost one! Goals from
7	A$AP	1-1-0	These guys look good too! I think their problem is A$AP Rocky is mad abot potential copyright enfringement. Goals from Cody Collins and Alec Sprague are keeping this team alive.
8	Balotelli-tubbies	1-2-0	1st place in team name, but 8th place in the rankings... I guess you can't judge a book by its cover. In their defense, their losses were to the #1 and #2 team. No where to go but up, guys!
9	Free Agents	0-3-0	But this team has so much potential!! I think they're going to finish strong. Just talk to each other more! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!
10	El Ni?o	0-2-0	It's alright guys. We still love you. Goals are overrated.

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION - Week 2 (9-27-16)
1	African River Frogs	2-0-0	After a shaky start last week, African River Frogs buckled down and decided 4 hour practices were necessary. They didn't even take the Sabbath off! 3 goals from 3 different players (Joey Arnold, Sebastian Ariza, and Luke Reisig) let African River Frogs blow past REALcoholics, and take the #1 spot. Moral of the story? Don't take the Sabbath off. Unless you want to. Then go ahead.
2	CLUtch	1-0-1	Being down by 2 was not how CLUtch wanted to start their game. But just like TNT, CLUtch knows drama. After Katie Krogstad brought the deficit to 1 with an assist from Ryan Raymond, CLUtch ran out of time! Wait, they didn't though! It was their ball out of bounds with 2 seconds left on the clock. Daniel Chavez, in dramatic fashion, dribbled down the court and.... GOOOOOAAALLLLLLL!! Tie game.
3	REALcoholics	1-1-0	After trouncing the Ballotelli-tubbies, REALcoholics knew their stacked team could take on the best. Lucky for them, they got to take on the best! Despite numerous power shots from half-court, REALcoholics got shut-out by the #1 team, but have the makings to come back as an underdog story in the playoffs. If Universal doesn't get those movie rights, I might.
4	A$AP	1-0-0	Week #1 was not a rocky start - they gave us our first Mercy ruling of the season. "They love good soccer that's their winning problem. And ya they like to win that's their winning problem" - 2 Chainz
5	Off Constantly	1-0-1	Scoring 2 goals from Dylan Hedberg and Lindsay Wyatt against CLUtch set Off Constantly on constantly for a victory (see what I did there? I'm a genius). But, Off Constantly yielded to a tie in the final moments of the game. A moment of silence for Off Constantly. They'll be on again next week like the lights I left on when i left the house for the weekend. My electic bill is going to be really high. I set up a GoFund me, fyi.
6	The Thunder	1-0-0	After taking an early bye week, The Thunder was ravenous. Warming up, it was clear The Thunder also brought the lightning. Enough lightning to scare Marky Mark and the Moms off. Ready to bring the thunder, the lightning, and maybe even some rain, The Thunder is a potentially untested powerhouse.
7	Quaker Oats	1-1-0	After a mercy ruling last week, Quaker Oats came back with a vengeance. A hat trick from Gabrielle Stephens. A hat trick from Anthony Sidley. Careful, we're going to see these players with their own magic show in Vegas soon!
8	Balotelli-tubbies	1-1-0	The Balotelli-tubies were able to put up a fight against the REALcoholics last week, but came up with a forfet this week! Hoping to prove themselves against #2 CLUtch next week.
9	El Ni?o	0-1-0	Coming off of a rough season last year, this team looked to get their first W. 2 goals from from Amanda Romero, and 2 goals from Timothy Stuhr would've beat most teams, but not African River Frogs. El Ni?o looked promising, but there's still that drought in CA. Thanks a lot, guys...
10	Free Agents	0-2-0	This team has talent! 2 goals from Taylor Kettle??! The pot's calling this Kettle MVP. And 1 goal from Connor Spencer?? Watch-out. Once they get to know each other better, sub-ing will be easier. Once sub-ing is easier? Boom. Goals. Roasted. And some late reserves coming off the bench soon!
11	Marky Mark and the Moms	01-0	Can we have a moment of silence for Marky Mark and the Moms? I guess daycare is too expensive on Tuesday evenings.
12	The Harambes	0-2-0	Good luck playing with only two on your roster...

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION - WEEK 2
1	#freshsqueezed OJ	2-0	#freshsqueezed OJ made the jump to the top spot with a 73-56 win over #7 B. Lingels. Nelson Pyle and Curtis Opsahl both dropped double-doubles with 28 points and 11 rebounds and 23 points and 12 rebounds, respectively.
2	Shotguns N’Gbs	2-0	With an improving roster week by week, Shotguns N’Gbs was able to take down then-#1 Semi-Average 65-54. Justin Freeman led the team with 15 points and 8 boards. Coby de Lavega chimed in 12. Next week, they’ll put their undefeated record on the line as they face #3 No Shirseys in what should be a barnburner.
3	No Shirseys	1-1	No Shirseys found their rhythm against #10 FOOW with four players getting into double figures. Joey Savala led the team with 19 points and 10 rebounds, and Josh Cruz had 14 points, 10 assists, and 9 rebounds. They’ll look to knock off #2 Shotguns N’Gbs next week.
4	Semi-Average	1-1	Down goes #1! Down goes #1! The reign of semi-average was cut short in their loss to #2 Shotguns N’Gbs. Drake Paretti and Rikiya Satoh dropped 12 apiece. They’ll look to bounce back next week as they face #6 Cal Lit.
5	G'Looks	1-1	G’Looks took the lead late in their instant classic against #8 808s and Fastbreaks, but couldn’t complete the comeback. Jimmy Bankson had 15 points and 12 boards, Anthony Phillips added 15 points, and Tyler Shimamoto had 13 points.
6	Cal Lit	1-1	If G’Looks vs 808s and Fastbreaks didn’t do it for you, then Cal Lit vs #9 Long 2s had to have. With under 10 seconds left, Cal Lit came away with a steal and layup to put the dagger into Long 2s’ hearts. They secured the win 62-59. Joshua Parafina had 20 points, and Drew Santiago followed with 15 points and 14 boards.
7	B. Lingels	1-1	It was close in the beginning, but B. Lingels couldn’t hang with #1 #freshsqueezed OJ’s pace. Brett Lingelbach had himself a double-double with 14 points and 10 boards, and Coleman Fleitz and Justin Gilbert both added 13.
8	808s and Fastbreaks	1-1	Christmas came really early this year, with the game of the year coming in Week 2! 808s & Fastbreaks left Soiland with the W against #5 G’Looks 66-63. MVP candidate Benedict Carandang led the way with 22 points, and Dean Hendrix followed with 15.
9	Long 2s	0-2	Long 2s came soooo close to securing their first win of 2017, but lost to #6 Cal Lit in a game that went down to the wire. Brian Unlu had a game-high 27 points, followed by Nodirkhon Mamatov and William Parquette who both had 11.
10	Fish Out Of Water	0-2	Apparently Matthew Fong switching from playing one week to coaching in a navy blue two piece suit the next wasn’t the right formula for FOOW to get their first W. They fell to #3 No Shirseys. Their superstar George Lundgren had 19 points and 7 rebounds in the loss.

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION -WEEK 1
1	Semi-Average	1-0	Never would I have thought that I’d be writing about Semi-Average being #1 in the power rankings.. But hey, congrats boys. Rikiya Satoh dropped 22 points to go with 8 boards, and captain Jakar Oriseh followed with 12 points in the win over #10 Fish Out Of Water.
2	#freshsqueezed OJ	1-0	Statement win but I mean.. You probably shouldn’t be losing when the other team has four players. #freshsqueezed OJ defeated #9 808’s & Fastbreaks 109-85 after a second half surge led by Curtis Opsahl (36 points, 21 rebounds) and Dylan Hedberg (29 points).
3	G'Looks	1-0	Last year’s runner up G’Looks returned to the IM circuit with a 84-71 win over #8 Cal Lit. Tyler Shimamoto dropped the first triple-double of the year with 19 points, 17 rebounds, and 10 points. Jimmy Bankson had 18 and 10, and Matt Somers scored a game high 25 points.
4	B. Lingels	1-0	The roommate chemistry was real for B. Lingels as they hung on for a 50-44 win over #7 No Shirseys. In the game of the week, Brett Lingelbach led the way with 12 points, followed by Kevin Blank and Coleman Fleitz with 10 each.
5	Shotguns N’Gbs	1-0	In a Patriot-esque comeback effort, Shotguns N’ Gbs defeated #6 Long 2s 58-52. Matt Hart led the squad with 17 points, and Brooks White followed with 12. The last team to get into the men’s league will look to continue to prove themselves against #1 Semi-Average next week.
6	Long 2s	0-1	Blowing big leads is an overused joke but being up 19 points in the second half only to lose.. Come on now guys, 4 on 5 is never a good strategy. William Parquette led the way with 26 points, and Ryan Heiligenthal dropped 13 with 16 boards.
7	No Shirseys	0-1	No Shirseys couldn’t complete the comeback, falling to #4 B. Lingels. The bright spot was Richard Caceres who had a 15 point, 8 rebound, 7 steal IM debut. They’ll look to bounce back next week vs #10 FOOW.
8	Cal Lit	0-1	Cal Lit managed to keep it close against #3 G’Looks, but in the end they fell 84-71. The Splash Bros of Russell Hernandez and Joshua Parafina began their early co-MVP campaign with 16 points and 10 boards, and 17 points, respectively.
9	808’s & Fastbreaks	0-1	In a rather uneventful opening night matchup, 808’s took the L #2 to #freshsqueezed OJ. Benedict Carandang turned some heads with a 24 point, 10 rebound performance. Dean Hendrix followed with 22 and 10. They’ll look to redeem themselves next week in a 9:00 PM PST primetime slot against #3 G’Looks.
10	Fish Out Of Water	0-1	The Water Polo turned Basketball Team might want to hop back in the pool and get some shots up. They took the L to #1 Semi-Average, after continuous half court heaves. George Lundgren did drop 24 points in the loss.

Playoffs Week 2	CHAMPIONSHIP GAMES
Competitive Championship: Staff Curry vs Wetball	This game had everything you could want in a championship game. A second half comebacks, plenty of three-point shots, even an ejection! In a thriller of a game, Wetball had a comeback to take the ship against Staff Curry. The Staff team had a pair of lead scorers in Brett Billet and Matt McClenathen who had 15 points each, and Matt also had 10 rebounds for the double-double. But I think the old age caught up with them, as the much larger than normal court proved to be extremely taxing for this team of veteran ballers. On the other hand, Wetball had a very well rounded game with 5 players scoring in the double digits. Additionally, having 3 ex-varsity players was a huge help, since they were still used to running on the main gym. This team started a late game comeback behind some key baskets from Jessica Salottolo (Happy Birthday by the way!) and Adrian Francis, which inspired the rest of the team to come home with the win. Congrats to both teams for a great season!
Recreational Championship: W3t Like Watah vs DJ Roomba	After the amazing game played before them, there was questions about whether the recreational division could show us as good of a game. But they proved us wrong and played a close knit, down-to-the-wire slugfest. DJ Roomba came out on top for the shirts, and overall was just too big for W3t Like Watah to handle, even though Benedict Carandang (who totally has my vote for league MVP) dropped 30 points. Besides lacking in size, W3t Like Watah couldn’t rally behind the lead of their Captain, Ben, and combined for only 20 points total. On the other hand, DJ Roomba had a balanced attack from their big 3 of Brett Lingelbach, Jordan Buendia, and Justin Gilbert. Buendia scored 11 points, and had 4 assists, resigning himself to be more of a facilitator than a scorer in this game. Lingelbach scored 13 points and grabbed 10 rebounds for a double-double, and the MVP of the night, Gilbert, showed us a 19-point, 10 rebound double-double. He was an unstoppable force inside, scoring almost every single time he touched the ball. Both teams gave it their all, and a 4-point differential shows this. Thanks to both teams for the amazing season!

Playoffs Week 2

CHAMPIONSHIP GAMES

Competitive Championship: Staff Curry vs Wetball

This game had everything you could want in a championship game. A second half comebacks, plenty of three-point shots, even an ejection! In a thriller of a game, Wetball had a comeback to take the ship against Staff Curry. The Staff team had a pair of lead scorers in Brett Billet and Matt McClenathen who had 15 points each, and Matt also had 10 rebounds for the double-double. But I think the old age caught up with them, as the much larger than normal court proved to be extremely taxing for this team of veteran ballers. On the other hand, Wetball had a very well rounded game with 5 players scoring in the double digits. Additionally, having 3 ex-varsity players was a huge help, since they were still used to running on the main gym. This team started a late game comeback behind some key baskets from Jessica Salottolo (Happy Birthday by the way!) and Adrian Francis, which inspired the rest of the team to come home with the win. Congrats to both teams for a great season!

Recreational Championship: W3t Like Watah vs DJ Roomba

After the amazing game played before them, there was questions about whether the recreational division could show us as good of a game. But they proved us wrong and played a close knit, down-to-the-wire slugfest. DJ Roomba came out on top for the shirts, and overall was just too big for W3t Like Watah to handle, even though Benedict Carandang (who totally has my vote for league MVP) dropped 30 points. Besides lacking in size, W3t Like Watah couldn’t rally behind the lead of their Captain, Ben, and combined for only 20 points total. On the other hand, DJ Roomba had a balanced attack from their big 3 of Brett Lingelbach, Jordan Buendia, and Justin Gilbert. Buendia scored 11 points, and had 4 assists, resigning himself to be more of a facilitator than a scorer in this game. Lingelbach scored 13 points and grabbed 10 rebounds for a double-double, and the MVP of the night, Gilbert, showed us a 19-point, 10 rebound double-double. He was an unstoppable force inside, scoring almost every single time he touched the ball. Both teams gave it their all, and a 4-point differential shows this. Thanks to both teams for the amazing season!

Playoffs Week 1	Competitive Division
Semifinal 1: Staff Curry vs Hoopla	Finally facing a team that could challenge them, Staff Curry proved me wrong and came away with a victory against 4 seed Hoopla. This game was neck and neck for the entire first half, ending in a half-time score of 26 apiece. After that, Staff Curry used their experience from age to keep their legs fresh and that proved to be the difference down the stretch. The big three from Hoopla: Dylan Hedberg, Jack Hagen and Nelson Pyle scored 16, 16 and 12 respectively, while Matt McClenathen put in 28, and Brett Billet proved a force down low with 17 of his own.
Semifinal 2: Wetball vs Sunset Park Ballerz	In the thriller of the day, Wetball came out on top of Sunset park Ballerz on a last second shot by Adrian Francis, which capped off his 36-point performance. The game looked like a runaway victory for sunset park early on, with them going into half-time up by 12 led by a 28-point performance by Brett Akahiji, but Wetball rallied for the second half to give us one of the most exciting games of the season.

Playoffs Week 1

Competitive Division

Semifinal 1: Staff Curry vs Hoopla

Finally facing a team that could challenge them, Staff Curry proved me wrong and came away with a victory against 4 seed Hoopla. This game was neck and neck for the entire first half, ending in a half-time score of 26 apiece. After that, Staff Curry used their experience from age to keep their legs fresh and that proved to be the difference down the stretch. The big three from Hoopla: Dylan Hedberg, Jack Hagen and Nelson Pyle scored 16, 16 and 12 respectively, while Matt McClenathen put in 28, and Brett Billet proved a force down low with 17 of his own.

Semifinal 2: Wetball vs Sunset Park Ballerz

In the thriller of the day, Wetball came out on top of Sunset park Ballerz on a last second shot by Adrian Francis, which capped off his 36-point performance. The game looked like a runaway victory for sunset park early on, with them going into half-time up by 12 led by a 28-point performance by Brett Akahiji, but Wetball rallied for the second half to give us one of the most exciting games of the season.

PLAYOFFS WEEK 1	RECREATIONAL DIVISION
Quarterfinal 1: Slum Dunk Millionaires vs Meet the Hoopers	In the first round of playoffs, Slum Dunk Millionaires ran away with the 74-57 win over Meet the Hoopers. The offensive might of Anthony Phillips proved to be too much for meet the Hoopers, who gave up 30-points to him. Also, Henry Bulmer was a threat inside as he grabbed 5 rebounds himself. On the flip side, Sebastian Morales dropped 37-points on the night, but his efforts proved to be too little to stem the tide of the balanced attack by Slum Dunk Millionaires.
Quarterfinal 2: DJ Roomba vs The Leftovers	In a close first half, DJ Roomba couldn’t figure out the zone put up by The Leftovers, and went into halftime up by 1 point. But hopes for The Leftovers were stifled early in the second half when DJ Roomba broke their zone and began to score at will. Led by Brett Lingelbach with a big double-double of 21 points and 15 rebounds and Jordan Buendia with 21 points, DJ Roomba proved too much inside for the smaller team. For The Leftovers, Jake Spatola added 20-points, Josh Cruz added 16, and Joey Savala scored 15, and also got a huge block against Brett Lingelbach.
Quarterfinal 3: What are the Odds vs Free Ballers	I’ll be honest. The Free Ballers are pretty darn good. At least they are when their whole team shows up. Which they did tonight. With the attacking power of Eli Peters, there aren’t many who can stop him (he had 20-points by the way). And when you add in the shoot-from-anywhere threat of Eniah McClinton, these two are a deadly combo that is hard to beat. And unbeatable they proved to be for What Are The Odds. Even with Jacob Schreiner scoring 24 points, again, and Ryan Heiligenthal being a presence inside, player/coach Gwennie McInnes couldn’t figure out how to stop the flood of the Free Ballers.
Quarterfinal 4: W3t Like Watah vs Dirty Dan and the Boys	What can I say? Dirty Dan and the Boys are the first-place team in my heart, as you will be hard pressed to find an opponent they can’t have more fun than. Even losing to W3t Like Watah by 30-points couldn’t stop their enthusiasm, and Dan once again scored over 10 points. Other notables are the Austin attack with Boelman scoring 14-points and grabbing a huge 26 rebounds, and Truong Scoring 18-points himself. For the other team, all their girls scored over 10 points, which is a huge accomplishment by anyone’s standards.
Semifinal 1: Slum Dunk Millionaires vs DJ Roomba	In a heated rematch, DJ Roomba narrowly came out on top of Slum Dunk Millionaires. Led by a 24 point, 12 rebound performance by Brett Lingelbach, as well Justin Gilbert with an impressive stat line of 12 points, 23 rebounds, and 5 blocks, DJ Roomba had to figure out a second zone for the day. Defensively, even though Andrew Jehle scored 27-points and Anthony Phillips added 21 of his own, DJ Roomba held off the other members just enough to take the W.
Semifinal 2: W3t Like Watah vs Free Ballers	Remember what I said earlier about the Free Ballers being a great team when they all show up? Well that didn’t happen for them in this game. Missing some key players due to the sheer lateness of the game (Again, I’m really sorry about that), they couldn’t get enough offensive momentum going to counter attack against the deep ball threat of W3t Like Watah. Some highlights are Eniah McClinton scoring 21, while Peyton Borg and Sean Nakano-West both scored 13. But like I said, this was too little to stop the 19-point performance by Benedict Carandang, as well as his supporting cast that included Tori Gorman with 12 points, and Priscilla Romofsky with 14.

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION -Week 7
1	Dirty Dan and The Boys	0-7-0	Dirty Dan and the Boys. What a team, what a regular season. While they may not have had the most successful season, I can promise that this team of fighters had the most fun of all the teams. In the final game of the regular season, Dirty Dan and All-Star MVP Kathrine Reaves lead the scoring, putting in 18 between the two of them. This was enough to earn them a playoff spot, so way to go team!
2	The Leftovers	1-4-0	What can I say? For a team thrown together last minute after the cream of the crop was already long gone, it was a miracle this team got one win this year. Despite being a team of leftovers, Joey Savala managed to invade the top 10 PPG members by taking the 8^th spot at 21.5 points a game. I wanna see what will happen when they play DJ Roomba who know how this team works very well.
3	Sunset Park Ballerz	6-1-0	Brett Akahiji scored over half the team’s points, and became the third person to score 45 points this season. They beat W3t Like Watah by 53, showing their dominance that was present through the entire season.
4	Hoopla	7-0-0	Hoopla’s opponents were in Mexico, so while they got the win in the books, they might have taken the loss on the fun adventures with this one…
5	Staff Curry	7-0-0	I really don’t think there was a team with an easier schedule than this team. Not only did they play none of the other top 3 teams, they also played all the bottom three teams as well. So, while they took advantage of this and secured a first seed ranking for playoffs, we’ll see what happens when they face some real competition.
6	W3t Like Watah	4-3-0	Without Ben Carandang, this team was unable to do much against the competition of Sunset Part Ballerz. Daisuke Nakayama scored 13 points to lead the team, but defensively this team couldn’t do anything to stop the flood of Brett Akahiji. But, their efforts in the regular season earned this team a first seed for the playoffs, so well still see what these guys can do.
7	Slum Dunk Millionaires	3-4-0	The one-two punch from Andrew Jehle and Max CarstensPierro was just enough for this team to edge out What Are The Odds in a one point victory. Jehle scored 23, while CarstensPierro scored 17. And boy what can I say. This is one of the better midseason turnarounds I’ve seen, as this team was second to last with no wins, and then some very late key acquisitions in Jehle, CarstensPierro, and Antony Phillips gave this team the needed boost to secure them a second seed for playoffs.
8	DJ Roomba	3-4-0	We went to Mexico. Sorry about that, but we felt that we were the only ones who got the real win this week because of it.
9	What Are The Odds	2-5-0	In a heartbreaking loss to Slum Dunk Millionaires, What Are The Odds fell by one point in what I am sure was a thriller of a game. Jacob Schreiner dropped 24 points again, and the presence of Ryan Heiligenthal, who scored 12 points and 16 rebounds, helped this team finally win the rebound battle. I guess this wasn’t quite enough to put them over the edge and hold on to the win.
10	Free Ballers	2-5-0	Matt Jorgensen took over tonight. At least I assume he did, because I didn’t actually see the game, and he was the leading scorer, but then again, 10 points as a leading scorer isn’t much to be proud of… But it was also against team Wetball, so maybe that is something to be happy about. I don’t know, you can decide yourself.
11	Meet the Hoopers	1-6-0	The Hoopers finally got a WIN!!! Way to go guys! I knew you had it in you and look at that, ya did it! Sebastian Morales went off tonight, with 29 points and 10 rebounds, and the other half of the twin attack that showed teams up all season long, Andre Morales, added 12 points and 11 rebounds for himself.
12	Wetball	7-0-0	You only won by 50 points, and let Matt Jorgensen score 10 points, so you can go to the last spot.

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION -Week 6
1	Wetball	6-0-0	Having fun this week, Wetball put up just shy of 100 points, and probably would have scored 100, if Dean Hendrix and Curtis Opsahl didn’t miss so many dunks. Also, they let Dirty Dan and the Bous, the last place team score 71 points… I don’t know, but that might have been taking them a little too lightly. But hey, Alexa Barnes had a big double-double with 18 points and 10 rebounds.
2	Sunset Park Ballerz	5-1-0	In another big matchup, Sunset Park Ballerz came out on top of the 3^rd ranked team Hoopla. A very well rounded effort by the whole team, with 3 people scoring 10 points, two at 8 and 9, and Brooks White and Tyler Shimamoto lead the team with 16 and 15 respectively. Now that’s some unselfish basketball.
3	Hoopla	5-1-0	Even through Dylan Hedberg scored 23 points, and Nelson Pyle added another 19, this proved to be too little to overcome the 2^nd ranked team, Sunset Park Ballerz. They put up a great fight, but I think the game came down to which girls contributed more, and Hoopla had 8 points from their girls, versus Sunset Park Ballerz at 21.
4	Staff Curry	6-0-0	I feel that this team has had the easiest schedule of all the teams in the league. Not only have they not played any of the other top 3 teams, but they have played all three of the last place teams as well. I feel it might come down to the fact that they have the person who actual made the schedule on their team, and because he didn’t want to kill his knees. But besides from that, they had a relatively impressive showing this week in their win over Meet the Hoopers.
5	W3t Like Watah	4-2-0	It looks like Benedict Carandang finally recruited some help for this league in Daisuke Nakayama. Ben is still doing most of the scoring with 20 points this game, but Daisuke added 18 points on his own. Kishon Sanders also had a big rebounding game with 12 boards to help the team win the rebound battle.
6	Slum Dunk Millionaires	2-4-0	This team is really on a role. Anthony Philips has more or less taken over the team, and is averaging 29 points a game, tying Matt McClenathen for first in that category. Andrew Jehle also added 26 points, and these two are proving to be a power pair that is tough to beat. Also, captain Gina Domergue has a nose for trouble and isn’t afraid to get right in the middle of the action with the big boys (I say that because the other team has an average height of 6’2 and she didn’t back down once).
7	DJ Roomba	3-3-0	I’m not sure who showed up for DJ Roomba, but this wasn’t the team that I’ve come to know and love. I hope they can get their act together soon, or their playoff run may be short lived this year
8	Free Ballers	2-4-0	Eniah McClinton scored 30 points and grabbed 10 rebounds. This guy has some major skill, and it shows as he is the league’s leading scorer with 153 points scored this season. Eli Peters was close to a double-double as well with 16 points and 9 rebounds, but the power pair couldn’t push their team to victory, falling to W3t Like Watah.
9	The Leftovers	1-3-0	The Leftovers finally did it. After a horrible first 3 weeks, they put their past behind them and started with a clean slate! (Not really, they still have 3 loses that will count for playoffs) Joey Savala, Josh Cruz and Jake Spatola lead the charge, scoring 18, 16 and 14 points respectively. New members Cam Washington and Ryan Tolliver added extra the defensive presence and had 5 steals between the two of them for the win.
10	What Are The Odds	2-4-0	I said it last week, but after this week, it really looks like this team needs big man Ryan Heiligenthal to help them pull out the wins. Jacob Schreiner again scored 25 points, but only had a little help from the rest of the team. Coach/player/captain Gwennie McInnes did her best to manage the team, but despite her best efforts, the team’s efforts couldn’t pull off a win.
11	Meet the Hoopers	0-6-0	Again, even though the twin attack of Sebastian and Andre Morales combined for 43 points between the two of them, they couldn’t lead their team to victory against Staff Curry. The rest of the team scored 16 points, so I think the rest of the league is starting to figure out who they have to worry about on this team by now.
12	Dirty Dan and The Boys	0-6-0	I’m proud of this team. Not only did they score 71 points on the best team in the league, but this was also their highest scoring game of the year as well! Leading the charge was Dirty Dan himself, who scored a career high 45 points! He was for sure the league MVP of the week, because that’s just the second time someone has scored that high, and the first time someone has single handedly done so much damage to one of the best defensives in the league.

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION -Week 5
1	Wetball	5-0-0	In the match between the 1 and 2 seeds, this game promised to be one for the books, and boy was it. Coming out on top, Wetball had a great showing, lead by Adrian Francis with 25 points and 8 rebounds, and Dean Hendrix with 22 points and 6 rebounds. Curtis Opsahl also added another 14 points, and proved too big for Sunset Park Ballerz to handle.
2	Sunset Park Ballerz	4-1-0	Falling just short, Sunset Park Ballerz couldn’t close the game against Wetball, taking their first L on the season. Despite the loss, they once again had strong performances. 4 players scored in double digits: Brett Akahiji with 19, Tyler Shimamoto with 18, Jimmy Bankson with 15, and Sofia Cruz with 11. So, despite taking the tough loss, I’m sure they will rally this week as they play Hoopla in a 2nd versus 3rd matchup.
3	Hoopla	5-0-0	For whatever reason, even when they are winning by 15, Dylan Hedberg doesn’t believe his team is winning until they are up by at least 20 points. So, I guess he could still count this win as a W for himself, as they beat Meet the Hoopers 75-55. Hedberg himself contributed 25 points, but his inside game is lacking still as he only grabbed 3 rebounds… But I guess he feels he doesn’t need to very much when he has Peyton Cochrane who grabbed 15 rebounds and Jordan Donnelly with 11.
4	Staff Curry	5-0-0	These old guys once again beat up on a younger team, showing experience is a huge factor in winning basketball games. Or they are just bullying all the younger kids on the block. You can take your pick. The leader of the pack is Matt McClenathen who put in 29 points, again (if that’s not bullying, I don’t know what is). Other highlights are Tristan Baer who had a double-double with 12 points and 11 rebounds, and David Avila who also had a double-double at 10 and 10.
5	DJ Roomba	3-2-0	In what would have been the game of the night if the 1 and 2 seed hadn’t played each other, DJ Roomba narrowly beat Free Ballers on a pair of clutch, last second free throws from Jordan Buendia (which were his 19^th and 20^th points on the night). Justin Gilbert also had a great showing, putting up 14 points and pulling down 9 rebounds himself.
6	W3t Like Watah	3-2-0	Guess who scored over half his teams points again. If you didn’t guess Benedict Carandang, then I don’t think you’ve been reading these power rankings very often. This kid scored 35 points on a good What Are The Odds team, and also grabbed 11 rebounds, and showed he can pass with 4 assists as well. The girls on this team also did work, with Tori Gorman adding 11 points, and Erricka Laws scoring 10.
7	What Are The Odds	2-3-0	I think this game proves the fact that you need a big man to win games. Or at least someone who can plat big. I say this because even though Jacob Schreiner scored a season high 30 points, I repeat that: 30 points, their star big man Ryan Heiligenthal wasn’t there, and this resulted in a rebound count of 54 to 84 against them. I can promise you that this won’t win you very many games…
8	Free Ballers	2-3-0	I sympathize with this team, I really do. Having a one point lead with less than 10 seconds to go, and then losing to a pair of free throws as the time ran out is one of the most heartbreaking ways to lose. Even though they lost, they still had an impressive showing, where Eniah McClinton hit 5 three-pointers and a pair of free throws for 17 points and Eli Peters putting in 17 points of his own. Additionally, Mathew Hart scored 11, and grabbed 13 rebounds and acted as the overall distributor for the team.
9	Slum Dunk Millionaires	1-4-0	Slum Dunk Millionaires get their first win! But I still haven’t seen a dunk from this team! I hope someone figures out how to put down a slam in the next two games so they can live up to their name a little more. But that’s just wishful hoping on my part. Otherwise, the one-two punch of Andrew Jehle and Anthony Philips scored 23 and 21 points respectively. Also, Henry Bulmer hit a three. If that doesn’t sound like big news, then you don’t know what you’re talking about.
10	Meet the Hoopers	0-5-0	This team continues to impress me each week. Unfortunately, they can’t seem to find the winning strategy to pull off their first win yet. Otherwise, 4 people scored all their points, and only one of them had under 10 (Anacecilia Ceja with 9). The other three were Andre Morales with 19 and 15 rebounds, Sebastian Morales with 13 points and 9 rebounds, Christopher Fono with 11 points and 7 rebounds.
11	The Leftovers	0-3-0	Man have these guys had a tough stretch. First, they got added to the league 2 weeks late. Then they played the second ranked team in their opener. Next, they would have played the third ranked team is Josh Cruz hadn’t decided to start spring break a day early. Finally, they played the fourth ranked team and lost by 36. Sorry guys, I didn’t make the schedule. Joey Savala did most of their scoring, dropping 24 points and grabbing 9 rebounds. Good job Joey.
12	Dirty Dan and The Boys	0-5-0	It’s hard to win when only 6 players come to the game. But Dirty Dan and the Boys put up a valiant effort where Austin Truong scored 17 points, Katherine Reaves scored 12 points, and Dirty Dan added 8 points himself. Austin Boelman also grabbed 20 rebounds……… Wait, 20 Rebounds!!! That’s an insane statistic, not matter where you play basketball. Way to go Austin!

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION -Week 4
1	Wetball	4-0-0	Narrowly coming out on top this week against a surprising surge from Slum Dunk Millionaires, Wetball benefited from the addition of some more varsity players this week. When everyone who scored over 10 points is a former varsity member (29 from Adrian Francis, 27 from Sawyer Weddle, and 14 from Jessica Salottolo) you have to wonder what the league would look like if these players were spread out more evenly across the league.
2	Sunset Park Ballerz	4-0-0	Saved from a near forfeit by a last-minute addition of Knights Rugby star Dean Starros, Sunset Park Ballerz showed that they don’t need their leading scorers to come out on top. Sofia Cruz had an impressive showing, dropping 26 points to lead all scorers, and was closely followed by Brooks White who added another 25 on his own. The Rugby guy Dean also showed some basketball skills by adding 6 points and pulling down 7 rebound himself.
3	Hoopla	4-0-0	Hoopla got the easy win this week, being the one team to benefit from the nearby advent of Spring Break. Their opponents had all left for vacation already, choosing to party over playing basketball. Even with prior notice, Dylan Hedberg still was unable to give his team a heads up, making them go out of their way to come to a game they didn’t need to.
4	Staff Curry	4-0-0	Once again, Matt McClenathen proved to be a force to be reckoned with, scoring 35 points and pulling down 20 rebounds. He’s got my vote for league MVP, especially considering he’s on the staff team, which automatically makes him older than all the students. In other news, my boss Brett Billet added 24 points and 9 rebounds to the game, but I’m thinking about rounding up the rebounds to 10 to get some brownie points with him.
5	DJ Roomba	2-2-0	In the most action packed, down to the wire game of the night, DJ Roomba was able to hold off the furious comeback from What Are The Odds and clinch the win with free throws in the end. Jordan Buendia, Brett Lingelbach and Sawyer Stapp all were in double figures, with 20, 13 and 11 respectively, and Stapp added a huge game high 15 rebound effort to help for the win.
6	What Are The Odds	2-2-0	Despite a late game surge that tied the game up after being down over 10 points, What Are The Odds were unable to close out the game for the win. Jacob Schreiner once again showed how unstoppable on offence he is by dropping 18 points, but an 11 and 10-point contribution from Justin Van and Ryan Heiligenthal fell just short of bringing this team the win.
7	W3t Like Watah	2-2-0	Benedict Carandang. 43 points, 12 rebounds. Enough said.
8	Free Ballers	2-2-0	With this win, the Free Ballers extend their win streak to 2 games. They are getting hot at the right point in the season, and have people adding impressive numbers right now. Among these are Eniah McClinton who score 17 after scoring 45 the week prior, and Hayden Smith who added 22 points as well. And we can’t forget about the league’s leading fouler, Peyton Borg, who had managed to successfully foul out of every game they have played so far. So yes, I would say this is a team to watch out for.
9	Slum Dunk Millionaires	0-4-0	Rising to the challenge, Slum Dunk Millionaires gave the top ranked team a scare with a dominating performance from Anthony Phillips, who put up a double-double with 33 points and 10 rebounds. Andrew Jehle also had a great game, contributing 22 points against the second-best defense in the league.
10	Meet the Hoopers	0-4-0	Even with a huge advantage in numbers, Meet the Hoopers couldn’t capitalize against Sunset Park Ballerz shorthanded team to get their first win. Once again led by the twin attack of Andre and Sebastian Morales, with 17 and 21 respectively, I’m beginning to change my initial opinion of these two ballers.
11	The Leftovers	0-2-0	Unable to find another player after captain Josh Cruz decided to start Spring Break a little early, The Leftovers had to take the forfeit against Hoopla. Were still waiting to see what this late addition to the league is capable of, so hopefully they’ll have a few more members after the week off.
12	Dirty Dan and The Boys	0-4-0	Even with a going into halftime being down 2, Dirty Dan couldn’t rally his boys to keep up the defensive might in the second half, falling 39-65 to the Free Ballers. Even with the low score, there were some highlights. Two members broke the 15 points barrier, with Katherine Reaves at 16, and Austin Truong at 15, and Austin Boelman added 15 rebounds as well. Katherine reaves continues to be the star player, as she also contributes 14 rebounds herself.

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION -Week 3
1	Wetball	3-0-0	Despite a slow start to the game, Wetball showed why they are top-ranked material as they help it together and came away with a nice 20-point win against the scrappy Meet the Hoopers. In her intramural debut, basketball veteran Jessica Salottolo showed why the best team in the league recruited her, dropping 10 points and grabbing 5 rebounds, while Dean Hendrix led the team in scoring with 19 points.
2	Sunset Park Ballerz	3-0-0	Another team with new members from the varsity signing day, Sunset Park Ballerz showed that their girls are a force to be reckoned with. Scoring a combined 25 points between the trio of Sofie Cruz, Janelle Porter, and Trianna Owen demonstrated to the league that you can’t take it easy against anyone on this team.
3	Hoopla	3-0-0	With well-rounded performance, Hoopla showed once again how easy they can score from anywhere on the court, and from anyone. Perry Lee led the team in scoring with 16-points, and three different players had a double-double: Nelson Pyle (14-points, 13 rebounds), Peyton Cochrane (12-points, 15 rebounds), and Jordan Donnelly (15-points, 10 rebounds).
4	Staff Curry	3-0-0	I think this team had definitively proven that old guys can still ball. In a scrappy battle against DJ Roomba for the game of the week, this team of staff members came out on top yet again. Matt McClenathen is a beast, scoring 24-points and pulling down 16 rebounds, even though he padded his stats by not finishing on the first shot the entire first half. Also, girls basketball coach Lindsay Goldblatt-Samaniego has an impressive debut and hit a few treys for an 11 point-game.
5	What Are The Odds	2-1-0	Making their own argument for a higher ranking, What Are The Odds posted another victory against Dirty Dan and the Boys this week. Two players reached double figures: Nagisa Komori with 15 points, and Jacob Schreiner scoring 21 points. Someone needs to do something about this kid, as he’s 3^rd in the league in scoring, and averaging 22 points a game.
6	W3t Like Watah	2-1-0	Unable to cope with the size of Hoopla, W3t Like Watah fell 82-48 this week. Benedict Carandang did all he could, putting up 17-points and grabbing 10 boards for the double-double, but he didn’t have enough help to make a dent in the opponents lead.
7	DJ Roomba	1-2-0	With a tough loss, DJ Roomba went back to the drawing board to rethink strategy for their next game against What Are The Odds. In a game of few positives, Jordan Buendia put up 20-points, and Taylor Messick pulled down an impressive 10 rebounds against opponents much taller than she’s used in her intramural debut.
8	Free Ballers	1-2-0	Despite a scheduling mishap, and being rescheduled to the next week, Free Ballers came out to play against Slum Dunk Millionaires. Led by a very impressive 45-point, 10 rebound performance by Eniah McClinton, this team hit the pedal hard and didn’t let up. Peyton Borg also had an impressive night, posting a 21-point, 12 rebound game, as well as having 2 steals, a block, an assist, and most importantly, 5 fouls.
9	Meet the Hoopers	0-3-0	Even with a great combined effort from the twin duo, Sebastian and Andre Morales, Meet the Hoopers couldn’t go the distance against top-ranked Wetball. Even still, scoring 26 and 14 points respectively between the two of them is no small feat against their Wetball, who are notorious for limiting the scoring abilities of their opponents.
10	The Leftovers	0-1-0	In their first game of the season, aptly named team The Leftovers put up a fight, but couldn’t do much to stop the offensive might of Sunset Park Ballerz. Feeling the lack of subs, this 5-man squad had an impressive first showing, behind a game high 23-point performance from Josh Cruz (I think that’s his career high for intramurals too fun fact), as well as a 19-point contribution from Joey Savala. This team has some tools, but they need any kind of depth if they want to go an entire game.
11	Slum Dunk Millionaires	0-3-0	Unfortunately, the rescheduling didn’t work as well for Slum Dunk Millionaires. Despite have extra time to recover from some colds plaguing the team, there wasn’t much offence on the night. Dominic Lunde had a good stat line, with 14 point, 13 rebounds, a steal and an assist, and Gina Domergue put up 8-points and showed she can play any position from point guard to post.
12	Dirty Dan and The Boys	0-3-0	Coming up short again this week, Dirty Dan himself tried his best, contributing 14 points in the loss to What Are The Odds. Another highlight for them is Emma Peterson, who in her second intramural game dropped 20-points, after a 12-point debut the week before. We’re looking for great things from this one in the coming weeks if she can keep this up.

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION -Week 2
1	Hoopla	2-0-0	In a solid win, Hoopla put this game away easily led by Peyton Cochrane who had an unheard of quadruple double! For those of you that don’t know basketball lingo, that means he had at least 10 stats in 4 different categories. With 23 points, 21, 10 blocks and 10 assists, Cochrane showed us a game that won’t soon be forgotten. Now we’re all going to wait with baited breath to see how he can top his performance this week!
2	Sunset Park Ballerz	2-0-0	Holding off the best efforts of DJ Roomba, Sunset Park Ballerz once again showed their offensive prowess, scoring 95 in their win this week. The twin 3 ball attack from Brett Akahiji and Tyler Shimamoto took off in the second half, with both players scoring 31 and 30 respectively. Justin Freeman and Jimmy Bankson also put in 15 and 14 points, showing how well rounded this team is.
3	Wetball	2-0-0	After their convincing win last week, Wetball scared off their opponent this week. With no one to play, the team took advantage of their time off to scrimmage themselves, and that little pick-up game had a high amount of skill that you needed to see to believe.
4	Staff Curry	2-0-0	Once again proving that you don’t have to be in college to win in intramural basketball, this team of old people put on a show in their win over Slum Dunk Millionaires. With 3 people with double doubles, they show that you can’t just stop one person if you want to win against this team.
5	W3t Like Watah	2-0-0	In their season debut, W3t Like Watah help off a hungry Meet the Hoopers to get their first real win. Led by Kishon Sanders and Benedict Carandang with 17 and 14, these two also had 12 and 11 rebounds.
6	DJ Roomba	1-1-0	Coming into the night, DJ Roomba believed they had a chance at upsetting longtime rivals Sunset Park Ballerz, but feel just short after keeping up with their opponents high powered offense. Led by two players with double doubles, Justin Gilbert had 20 points and 10 rebounds, while Coleman Fleitz had 18 points and 10 rebounds as well.
7	What Are The Odds	1-1-0	In the game of the week, What Are the Odds came out on top of slugfest against the Free Ballers. Led by Jacob Schreiner and Ryan Heiligenthal at 29 and 27 respectively, this team showed their late game stamina by winning this game as it came down to a last second miss by their opponent.
8	Free Ballers	0-2-0	Coming up just short against What Are the Odds, the Free Ballers have some positives to look at. With 32 points from Matthew Hart and 27 points from Eniah McClinton, this team has potential to make a run for the top of the rankings. My advice would be that they work on their stamina so they can finish those close games that go down to the wire.
9	Meet the Hoopers	0-2-0	After adding more troops to their lineup, Meet the Hoopers came out hungry after their loss to DJ Roomba last week. Following the lead of their twin attackers in Sebastian and Andre Morales, who both had 16 points, this team feel just short to W3t Like Watah, only losing by 6 in a tough fought game. Hopefully they get a win next week as they play The Ball Handlers, who have yet to make an appearance to our Thursday night league.
10	Slum Dunk Millionaires	0-2-0	Trying to change up their image, Slum Dunk Millionaires (formerly known as swish and flick, which I personally liked better, but that’s probably just my inner potter nerd talking) didn’t quite live up to the expectations their name sets for them. Even with the huge addition of Anthony Phillips who scored 29 points (over half team’s total), they couldn’t find a way to stop the big three from Staff Curry.
11	Dirty Dan and The Boys	0-2-0	Putting up a great effort, Dirty Dan tried to lead his team against Hoopla, but faced the mighty Peyton Cochrane with his quadruple double. Dan Buonauro had 15 points and 3 rebounds, but the real star of his team was Austin Truong who had a team high of 26 points. Also, Austin Boelman had an astonishing 27 rebounds, but their efforts couldn’t hold back the storm that is Hoopla.
12	The Ball Handlers	0-2-0	Two weeks not showing up in a row? Come on guys, that’s not cool. If you read these because you’re in a different sport, please let us know if you have a team, because its slightly difficult to play 5-on-5 basketball with a 3-man roster…

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION -Week 1
1	Sunset Park Ballerz	1-0-0	With a commanding victory, Sunset Park Ballerz set the standard for the year. With 4 out of 5 of their players reaching double digit points, they were lead by Tyler Shimamoto who had 35. Even starting the game inconvenienced by Trianna Owen arriving late couldn’t stop their momentum. Hopefully they’ll have a couple more subs in the coming weeks so they don’t rely on just five people.
2	Wetball	1-0-0	Wetball was indeed wet last night, with Dean Hendrix leading the way with 33 points, followed by Tye Herod with 17 and Alex Scoggins with 13. You can always tell when a team is confident in themselves. The easiest sign is when they throw each other alley oops and slam them with conviction, and we saw plenty of that from Wetball as well tonight.
3	Hoopla	1-0-0	Putting on a show this week, Hoopla put away their opponent nicely. Dylan Hedberg led the charge with 23 points, and was closely followed by Nelson Pyle with 21. In another tale of rebounds, Hoopla pulled down 9 more than Swish and Flick and we could see the difference.
4	Staff Curry	1-0-0	Staff Curry proved that a bunch of old guys can still hoop last night. Three players scored in double digits with 29, 18 and 11 for Matt McClenathen, Tristan Baer and David Avila respectively. Tristan also added an impressive 20 rebounds to take the lead for the league at the moment.
5	DJ Roomba	1-0-0	With a well-rounded team effort, DJ Roomba pulled off the win against Meet the Hoopers, who they had met the week before in a preseason scrimmage. Brett Lingelbach and Jordan Buendia led the way with 14 points apiece, and Sawyer Stapp added a surprisingly quiet double-double with 10 points and 12 rebounds.
6	W3t Like Watah	1-0-0	On a night of convincing wins, W3t Like Watah had the easiest one of them all. Coming out in full force, they jumped up to an early lead and didn’t step off the pedal all night… Or at least they might have. We don’t know because the team they were supposed to play didn’t show up. Either way, easy win for the team.
7	Meet the Hoopers	0-1-0	Even with a height disadvantage, Meet the Hoopers did all they could to stop DJ Roomba. Continually making the opponent respect him, Andre Morales put up 23 points, which was an even half of the team’s total. And following the theme of the night, Meet the Hoopers lost the rebound battle 29-41, which is something you cannot have happen if you want to win some games.
8	Free Ballers	0-1-0	Putting up a good match against Staff Curry, the Free Ballers were unable to get the ball rolling on offence enough to keep it close, despite the best efforts of Ryan Bill and Eniah McClinton who had 25 and 17 respectively.
9	Swish and Flick	0-1-0	In a tough match-up this week, Swish and Flick couldn’t levitate the ball into the hoop enough to make enough of a difference. Dom Lunde showed he’s more than just a super tall soccer plater by leading the team in scoring with 8, but didn’t get much help from the rest of his team this week.
10	What Are The Odds	0-1-0	Despite the best efforts of Jacob Schreiner and Nagisa Komori with 16 and 12 respectively, What Are The Odds was unable to anything about the sheer height of Wetball. With only one fair matchup in terms of size, What Are The Odds lost the rebound battle by 12, which isn’t good in any level of basketball.
11	Dirty Dan and The Boys	0-1-0	Lead by a great double-double performance by Katherine Reaves, Dirty Dan and The Boys did their best to take on Sunset Park Ballerz. Unfortunately, their best fell short, and they weren’t able to do anything to stop their opponents from scoring almost 90 points. Better luck next week!
12	The Ball Handlers	0-1-0	Due to the unforeseen consequence of only having two players on their roster, The Ball Handlers suffered a loss this week. I was looking forward to seeing how clean their handles were, but I guess we’ll have to wait until next week to see if they have the skills or are all talk.

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION - Quarterfinal Week
1	Shotguns N’ GB’s	5-1-0	Enjoying the results of dominating the regular season, Shotguns ‘N GBs took full advantage of their first-round bye this week to rest, recover and get a strategy set for the semifinals.
2	Batu Ripz	4-1-0	Also enjoying the luxury of a first-round bye, Batu Ripz gathered themselves as well. Sending out scouts to the quarterfinal games, it looks like they’re already thinking about strategy for the semifinals.
3	Grayson Oroke and Company	3-1-1	In a dominating performance, Grayson Oroke and Company didn’t stop in their win over Tie or Dye. Led by the man himself on offense, Grayson Oroke threw 3 touchdown passes hooking up with three different receivers. David Avila and Morgan Towner also got in on the passing action and each had a passing touchdown themselves. They look forward to playing Batu Ripz in the semifinals next week.
4	Jive Turkey	2-3-0	In a rematch of the year, Jive Turkey once again beat Last Chance U, albeit it with a little more difficulty. Jack Hagen led the team with 4 passing touchdowns to 4 different receivers, resulting in a final score of 24-6. Coming off a two-game win streak, Jive Turkey looks to keep their momentum up next week against Shotguns ‘N GBs.
5	Last Chance U	2-3-0	Putting up a great effort, Last Chance U couldn’t hold on long enough to stop Jive Turkey’s offense. They did all they could and came up with 3 picks on the game, but ultimately couldn’t get anything going on offense. We appreciate your effort all year, and hope to see all the returning players again next year.
6	Tie or Dye	1-3-1	Unable to get the ball rolling, Tie or Dye struggled against Grayson Oroke and Company. The leading highlight of the game was an interception by Anthony Sidley. With this loss, their season is over. Thanks to all the seniors for their dedication over the years, and we hope to see all the underclassmen come out again next year!

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION - WEEK 6
1	Shotguns N’ GB’s	5-1-0	Matt Pham and Danny Chavez might be the deadliest QB/WR combo in CLU History, right after Adam Friederichsen and Aaron Lacombe. They connected on two strikes for TDs, and accounted for three picks on defense in their win over Last Chance U.
2	Batu Ripz	4-1-0	Batu Ripz scared off their competition and cruised their way to a forfeit victory Sunday. They’ll be making their championship run as the #2 seed.
3	Grayson Oroke and Company	3-1-1	Grayson Oroke and Company got up early Sunday morning to put in some extra work in preparation to defend their title, probably. Let’s see if their veteran experience will pay dividends.
4	Jive Turkey	2-3-0	An all-around performance landed Jive Turkey a 34-13 win over Tie or Dye. Peyton Cochrane had a TD catch and 3 picks, one of which he housed. Jack Hagen threw 2 TDs. Nelson Pyle also had a Pick-6. They’ll face Last Chance U in the first round.
5	Last Chance U	2-3-0	Despite the most talented roster on paper in the league, Last Chance U couldn’t get their offense going against Shotguns n GB’s. Wesley Thompson was their star in this one, throwing for a TD and housing a pick as well. They’ll look to make some noise in the playoffs as the #5 seed as DJ Law and Ronald Ollie return from ineligibility.
6	Tie or Dye	1-3-1	Seanny Baller looked like a new man out there, throwing and receiving a TD in their loss to Jive Turkey. Anthony Sidley had a TD catch of his own to go along with two INTs.
7	Show Us Your TDs	0-5-0	Another week, another forfeit for this club. Their season has come to an end. They’re better at basketball anyways.

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION - WEEK 5
1	Shotguns N’ GB’s	4-1-0	In the battle for first place, Shotguns ‘N GBs managed to come out on top in this hard fought match against Grayson Oroke and Company. In a defensive standoff, there were 10 interceptions total, 4 of them coming from Shotguns ‘N GBs, each from a different player. On the offensive side, Matthew Butler again took control and ran the offense to two different scores.
2	Grayson Oroke and Company	4-1-0	In a close match for first, Grayson Oroke and Company came up just short, losing by two to Shotguns ‘N GBs. With 6 interceptions between David Avila, Austin Buccieri, and Kristian Gallardo, one would think that they had the game in the bag, but they came up short on the offensive side and were unable to punch in those always important extra points.
3	Batu Ripz	3-1-0	In another close match, Batu Ripz were able to put a stop to Last Chance U’s win streak this game. Again in a defensive battle, Batu Ripz was led by Dean Starros who pressured the opponents QB the entire game, and came down with 5 sacks for himself. Also on the defensive side, Batu Ripz pulled down 5 interceptions from 4 different players.
4	Last Chance U	2-1-0	After finally getting the ball rolling, Last Chance U’s sudden spurt for first was put on hold by Batu Ripz. Despite turning the ball over 5 times through interceptions, they were able to grab 4 picks themselves to keep in the game. The biggest problem for Last Chance U at the moment is a consistent QB, and if they manage to find a regular, with the host of ex-football players on their roster, this team is still a contender for the championship.
5	Tie or Dye	1-2-1	After being shut out by Shotguns ‘N GBs, Tie or Dye took a needed week off in order to recover and hit the drawing boards. With the experience of beating one of the teams in the lead, this young team has the potential for greatness, they just need to tap into it.
6	Jive Turkey	1-3-0	Looking for their first win, Jive Turkey came into the game this week with high expectations, as well as a short roster as multiple team members were off doing weird stuff like camping or seeing professional football games. Luckily for them, their opponent Show Us Your TDs failed to even show up for their game, giving Jive Turkey their first, and easiest win of the season.
7	Show Us Your TDs	0-4-0	Once again deciding to not show up, Show Us Your TDs is showing us the opposite of touchdowns. I’m not even sure they have a real team anymore at this point…

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION - WEEK 4
1	Grayson Oroke and Company	3-0-1	Proving once again they deserve to be on top, this team of senior citizens came out in force this week. With 3 different people receiving touchdown passes from three different QBs, not only did they find the endzone many times, they showed they can do it with whoever they want.
2	Shotguns ‘N GBs	3-1-0	Fielding a rookie quarterback, Shotguns ‘N GBs threw caution to the wind starting newcomer Matthew Butler. Fortunately for them, their gamble paid off as he went on to throw 3 touchdown passes, two of which went to Daniel Chavez. On the defensive side, it was all Daniel Chavez again, as he came down with 3 interceptions on the day, helping to shut out Tie or Dye.
3	Batu Ripz	2-1-0	With a week off, Batu Ripz was unable to keep their second place standing. But I know for a fact they had multiple scouts out there on Sunday to prepare for when they come back after a two-week break. Unfortunately for them, the team they wanted to see decided they don’t like girls that much and ended up not coming to show off their skills.
4	Last Chance U	2-1-1	In an extremely hard fought W, Last Chance U managed to come out on top of Show Us Your TDs. Did I say extremely hard fought? I meant to say they got one of the easiest wins on the season after a forfeit by the other team. But hey, a wins a win, and this team always appreciates the boost to the record.
5	Tie or Dye	1-2-0	I’m not sure what to make of this team. One week they are tying the best team in the league, the next week they beat the second best team in the league. Now they are on a two game losing streak, and have been shutout in both matches. Maybe it’s their quarterback, or should I say lack of consistent quarterback? Or is it because they fall short (literally and physically) on the defensive side of the ball? Who knows and only time will tell.
6	Jive Turkey	0-3-0	In a disappointing game, Jive Turkey couldn’t find an answer to the steamroller offense that is Grayson Oroke and Company. With an early touchdown by Brett Lingelbach from Ana Cordoba, things looked promising, but after he pulled his hamstring on the score, their subs ran out and they couldn’t find their groove again for the rest of the game.
7	Show Us Your TDs	0-3-0	This week, Show Us Your TDs decided to not only show us no touchdowns again, but also not even to show their faces. Unable to find enough girls, they couldn’t play and took a forfeit. Calling all girls out there, this is a team that needs your help. Anyone would be appreciated.

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION - WEEK 3
1	Grayson Oroke and Company	2-0-1	In a convincing 18-0 victory, Grayson Oroke and Company showed that they are still a force to be reckoned with, despite having the oldest roster in the league. With an all-around offensive performance, and a stifling defensive game, they soared past Show Us Your TDs and look to keep their streak going next week against Jive Turkey.
2	Batu Ripz	2-1-0	Dethroning the top ranked Shotguns N’ GBs, Batu Ripz showed that they already are over the loss to Tie and Dye last week. With yet another defensive show, they pulled down 4 interceptions, 2 of which were for touchdowns. On the offensive side of the ball, Justin Freeman had a receiving touchdown from one of the females, who I will not specify, because she told me I had better give her a shout out on the power rankings when we were on the field (take that Miranda!).
3	Shotguns ‘N GBs	2-1-0	Struggling to find enough players to have a full roster (I guess that’s what happens when half your team is on the basketball team and season starts), Shotguns ‘N GBs couldn’t find the endzone this weekend. Danny Chavez helped the team as much as he could on defense, bringing down a pick and sack, but missing most of your athletes is a hard thing to overcome.
4	Tie or Dye	1-1-1	After beating one of the top ranked teams last week, Tie or Dye fell in a surprising loss to Last Chance U. Apparently, changing their name from Golden Children didn’t work out so well for them as they struggled a lot on offense this week. The highlight of their game was that 4 different people managed to get a defensive stat, with 2 interceptions and 2 sacks.
5	Last Chance U	1-1-0	Finally figuring out the rules, Last Chance U put on a clinic for us. They had everything down this week, from getting the ball to girls to keep the plays open, to actually getting some blocking in to give their QB time to throw. Also, in the play of the year, David Claiborne had one of the best punt returns I’ve ever seen. Causing almost the entire punt team to miss, David dodged, ducked, dipped, dove and dodged his way for almost 60 yards on the return, resulting in a touchdown.
6	Jive Turkey	0-2-0	On their second week off, Jive Turkey took the chance to rest, recover, vacation, and strategize. Looking to get their first win in the regular season, they have their work cut out for them as they go on to play Grayson Oroke and Company.
7	Show Us Your TDs	0-2-0	Once again failing to show us any touchdowns, Show Us Your TDs was shutout this week against Grayson Oroke and Company. On the bright side, they managed to snag 3 interceptions, but in the long run couldn’t do much to stop their opponent’s offense.

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION - WEEK 2
1	Shotguns N’ GB’s	2-0-0	After an impressive victory last week, Shotguns N’ GBs kept the ball rolling. With an even offensive and defensive attack, they were led by Blake Miles with 2 receiving touchdowns and Adrian Francis with a pick 6, they held off Jive Turkey and are looking ahead to Batu Ripz next game.
2	Grayson Oroke and Company	1-0-1	Coming with a fuller team this week, Grayson Oroke and Company put together an impressive showing against Last Chance U. QB Grayson Oroke found multiple targets in the end zone to put up the season high score of 34 points. Also, I am pretty sure they picked their name just to get in my head whenever I have to type out Grayson Oroke and Company.
3	Batu Ripz	1-1-0	In a tough defensive game, Robert Sipes managed to find two different receivers in the end zone for touchdowns. Unfortunately, their defensive game wasn’t quite enough to hold off Golden Children, resulting in a heartbreaking 1-point loss.
4	Golden Children	1-0-1	Led by Peter Lee with two passing touchdowns and defensively by Alex Cortez with 2 interceptions, Golden Children looked good this week against Batu Ripz. The extra point score by Kelsey Rouse proved to be the deciding factor in this tough fought game.
5	Jive Turkey	0-2-0	Finding more of a rhythm this week with Brett Lingelbach scoring off passes from two different QBs, Jive Turkey couldn’t pull it together enough to stop Shotguns N’ GB’s offensive attack. With the next two weeks off, Jive turkey is looking to put together a better plan of attack when they play again.
6	Show Us Your TDs	0-1-0	With the bye week this week, Show Us Your TDs look to figure out how to get some rhythm going on offense. They can find comfort in the fact they have probably the best name for football this year.
7	Last Chance U	0-1-0	Struggling to find any momentum, Last Chance U couldn’t put together any scoring drives this week against Grayson Oroke and Company, resulting in a devastating loss of 34-0

RANK	TEAM NAME	RECORD	DESCRIPTION - WEEK 1
1	Shotguns N’ GB’s	1-0-0	After a bye for scrimmage week, Shotguns N’ GB’s hit the turf running. Lead offensively by quarterback Matt Pham who threw for 4 touchdowns and Daniel Chavez who was on the receiving end of three of those, this team showed that they plan to be an offensive powerhouse this year.
2	Batu Ripz	1-0-0	In the grudge match of the year, Batu Ripz came out ready to play. Holding Jive Turkey to just one touchdown, Batu Ripz showed they will be a defensive force to be reckoned with. Proving this point was Billy Davidson who picked off an Extra Point for 3 points, which proved to be the deciding factor of the game.
3	Golden Children	0-0-1	Golden Children also struggled to find enough players to have any subs, but put up a strong defensive game to force a tie. They will have their work cut out for them if they have limited players next week against Batu Ripz.
4	Grayson Oroke and Company	0-0-1	With one of the fullest rosters in the league, Grayson Oroke and Company had barely found enough people to play this week. Feeling the effects of limited subs, they managed to pull off a tie against Golden Children and hope to be back at full strength next week against Last Chance U.
5	Last Chance U	0-0-0	With a bye this week, Last Chance U took the opportunity to hit the practice field and figure out all the complexities of the Co-Ed rules to come out strong against Grayson Oroke and Company.
6	Jive Turkey	0-1-0	Struggling to find any rhythm on offensive, Jive Turkey lost in a close one on a controversial call late in in the game. They hope to make a comeback next week against Shotguns N’ GB’s.
7	Show Us Your TD’s	0-1-0	Show Us Your TD’s couldn’t manage to show us any touchdowns this week, while they were indeed shown 4 touchdowns by Shotguns N’ GB’s. The only highlight of the day came when Michael Bocksnick picked off an Extra Point attempt and ran it all the way back for their only score on the day.

Intramural & Club Sports

Contact Us

athletics@CalLutheran.edu

Campus Location

Athletics Office (2nd floor, GSFC)

Hours

Monday-Friday, 8 a.m.-5 p.m.

Sabbath Hour: Thursday, 11:15 a.m.-12:15 p.m.